TeenHelp - Return of night time anxiety

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Return of night time anxiety

When I was a child, I would frequently experience anxiety at night. Sometimes with reasons and genuine (although often irrational fears), but even if I didn't have reason, I'd always experience this horrible anxious feeling in the evening and night. Something about the day ending, everything going quiet, and being seperated from everyone else (even if I was sleeping in bed with my parent(s) I felt this dread when we stopped talking and I was no longer being interacted with) made me so stressed and full of dread. It was particularly prominent when I would visit my dad's house - he lives further away and I only occasionally visited him, typically for a week at a time give or take, and the combination of the less unfamiliar, stressful (not stressful due to anything my father was doing, it was other factors) environment and also this night time anxiety was so horrible. Sometimes I would even be terrified of sleep itself, fearing dying in my sleep. (I had big time thanatophobia when I was young)

My night time anxiety and seperation issues were so bad that I slept in the same bed as my mum until I was about 16, which is extremely embarassing to admit and even think about. After a few months of sleeping on my own, this night time anxiety seemed to dwindle, although my attachment issues still stuck around for a while, being sad I had to say goodnight to my mum and not see her till morning.

But in the past few days, my night time anxiety has returned. There are some genuine fears like before - which are harder to soothe myself over, because they're more rational than my childhood fears, and I can't just crawl into my parents bed and be comforted by them. But there's also this reasonless anxiety feeling, this horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. It's horrible.

I miss when I could just be comforted so easily, by being held by a parent, by hugging a teddy bear. I feel so hopeless, so lonely, so vulnerable, and I just have to lay there and lie to myself that I'm okay.

Re: Return of night time anxiety

I'm so sorry you're going through that!

Do you think changing the environment you're sleeping in can help? Depending on what some of the anxieties are you can even get a night light if you think that would help, there's no shame in having one at any age! I also don't think there's anything wrong with hugging a teddy bear or other stuffed animal at any age. If you have the space to do it, maybe you can rearrange your room and put things in new places where they feel more comfortable to you. Or you can just make simple changes.

Maybe a physical noise machine or noise machine app on your phone will help for white noise (I find brown noise to be better for me personally). Also try guided meditations or progressive muscle relaxation that you can do right from your bed. There are videos on YouTube that can help you do this.

It also may help to develop a nighttime routine. For example, take a bath or shower before bed and use a calming smelling lotion. I use the eucalyptus stress one from Bath and Body Works. You can light a scented candle or incense while you are still awake, just make sure to put it out before you go to bed. Maybe even read a few chapters of a book before bed as long as it won't stimulate you. The goal is to relax you before you go to sleep.

Re: Return of night time anxiety

Hi there,

I'm so sorry to hear what you are going through.
It seems like what you are experiencing is very similar to me. I often think the most when I'm going to sleep and is when I experience the most anxiety.
Because of this, I decided to reach out for help and will be talking to my GP this week.
I know I may not have helped but please know that you are not alone with this. :hug:

Re: Return of night time anxiety

I'm sorry you are feeling like this and I hope that you will be okay soon. Can you try to find something to help calm you down before going to sleep, listening to music or watching movies or reading a book or drawing or writing and this cam help to calm you so that you can sleep. I hope you will be okay soon.