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4 months of work down the drain
I hadn't cut myself for 4 months and a few days ago I did it cuz I keep having horrible dreams about when my ex used to abuse me when we were dating. I feel so sad and worthless. I was so good for 4 months and now all that good work was pointless. I just can't stop again. I'm scared and don't know what to do. :(
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Re: 4 months of work down the drain
First off, congrats on 4 months! That's a long time. :hug: Relapse is apart of recovery. We all do it, and it's going to happen. You are not worthless! You are just going through a rough patch, and you will get through this. Do you talk to a counselor or therapist? If not, I'd say maybe check into one. As they say, fall down 6 times, get up 7. Keep going! And stay strong. :hug: If you ever need anybody to talk to, you can surely PM me. :)
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Re: 4 months of work down the drain
Hey there,
Four months is amazing and you should be proud of yourself. I know that relapsing can be really difficult because it does make you feel like you have failed but I assure you that you have not failed. Sometimes when you are trying to recover from self harm you relapse and the best thing you can do is pick yourself up and try again. You made it four months without self harm and you can do that again. I know right now you are probably thinking that you won't be able to do it again but that isn't true. This was just a relapse and all you have to do is get up and push forward. You have identified the trigger for this relapse which is the abuse you suffered from at the hands of your ex-boyfriend. It is good that you are able to identify your triggers because then you can work on trying to figure out some type of resolution. For example, maybe you could consider going to therapy to deal with the abuse that you suffered. If counseling is not an option you could try talking to a close friend or a family member as well. I think counseling would be really helpful though because they would be able to help you work on healing from the abuse and work on getting to a better place. Another thing you could try doing is looking at the Alternatives to Self Harm. The alternatives can be a great tool to help you work on dealing with the urges you get to self harm. The thing to remember is that your body has come to accept self harm as its number one coping skill so it will take time for it to adjust to any other one. However if you keep using the alternatives it will come to accept some of the things on that list. I really hope that this helped and if you need anything please feel free to message me. :) |
Re: 4 months of work down the drain
Everyone's right 4 months is awesome. Most people don't get that far. Secondly, things happen. Dust yourself off and start again. You know you've done it before, and you're strong not to relapse for 4 months! You've got it!
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Re: 4 months of work down the drain
Thanks y'all. It's just hard cuz I've been taken off my antidepressant that I've been on for 2 years. I went back on it today. But I've hurt myself a few times since the first relapse incident. I've tried the alternatives and idk they just aren't working. And I had a shrink for a year and then my mom said I was better and to stop. So we stopped. I don't wanna see the shrink again. I wanna be strong and independent. But I keep having self harm incidents and anxiety attacks so I had to go back on my medicine. I can't stop pulling out my hair too. Idk y but its just like I feel like I have to do it to feel fine. I feet anxious when I don't. Idk if that's some kind of problem people have or a disorder but I can't stop. Even when my hair is in a ponytail or bun. I've done it ever since 3rd grade. It's so gross and weird and I'm constantly getting thin patches I have to hide. My hair dresser noticed it and I had to lie to her. I hate all if it but idk how to stop
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Re: 4 months of work down the drain
Hi there, I just wanted to reply to this because I been where you're. I was like 6-9 months of self harm free then messed up during a stressed out day. The important thing to remember here is that you're not worthless, we all make mistakes. Relapse is an important part to recovery, without it recovery wouldn't be achieved. All you can do now is pick yourself up, and get back to recovery. Remember you're stronger than this addiction, and use techniques that you know help you. There's a list of techniques that users have used to help with self harm in this section so I'd suggest checking that out. You're not useless and it's not four months down the drain. Four months is a big success now let's get back to it and aim for many more :) PMs are always open if you want to talk. <3
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Re: 4 months of work down the drain
Congrats on making 4 months I know I couldn't make it that long so you should feel very very proud of yourself. You most definitely are NOT worthless because you cut again. I was clean for 1 month before i relapsed and almost didn't stop. I promise you relapse is apart of recovering. Stay strong!! PM me if you want to talk!
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