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-   -   A Mcdonalds application! (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f3-general/t166251-mcdonalds-application/)

Dude111 March 7th 2026 12:29 PM

This is an actual job application a 17 year old submitted at McDonalds in Florida . . . And they hired him because he was so honest and funny http://www.teenhelp.org/images/icons/icon10.gif

Quote:

NAME: Greg Bulmash

[SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.]

DESIRED POSITION: Reclining. Ha ha. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle-management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN CONVICTED OF A FELONY?: Is "felony" sex with a cat? Because if it is . . . no.

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?: Only when set on fire.

[DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.]

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in Bimini with a fabulously wealthy supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: No, but I dare you to prove otherwise.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.]

SIGN HERE: Scorpio with Libra rising.
Ah man!!

I dont think I could be that bold!

Face Up. March 8th 2026 07:11 PM

Re: A Mcdonalds application!
 
Haha I could never!

Mindfulness. March 10th 2026 07:54 AM

Re: A Mcdonalds application!
 
This is pretty funny. :bleh:

Resilient March 12th 2026 12:24 PM

Re: A Mcdonalds application!
 
If I were just applying to random places without the intent to get a job there, I probably would do this! I'm just upset this person beat me to it.

Dude111 March 12th 2026 05:04 PM

They must have been desperate for employees!!!


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