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I hate going through this. Exhausting and leaves me all rusty
My sister was shouting at my dad and I went complete sarcastic on her. So rare for me to do that but idk it felt good but then I felt guilty. She always claims to be peaceful which she is the total opposite of. So when she was yelling I told her "wow, you really are peaceful" in a really exaggerated tone just to show I'm not being honest. I guess you can say I'm in a really grumpy mood. Not to mention this HOLE in my finger. That is all bloody and pus and green and yellow stuff coming out of it. Then again why am I conplaining? Who would do something with an intention and then complaining for succeeding?

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Keep telling myself "must not eat, dammit!"

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whatever. I wrote a whole long thing but never mind.

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I am so tired and sick.

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Nothing nothing nothing

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I need that really badly.

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I'm thinking of visiting her and giving her sunflowers, because the other ones that I gave to her are probably dead and wilted. But I don't want to breakdown looking like a deranged person

:/

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That family had 4 kids all under age 6 I'm guessing and the mom and grandma were awful to them. Its normal for a kid ton see cool things st the store and want them but the reaction of the mom and grandma were plain disgusting. Who tells their child "the police is waiting outside for you!" as a way to tell a kid to not steal from the store. Just because adults speak that kind of language that involves threat , doesn't mean young kids will understand it. Then this little boy named Daniel is about 2 years old I'm guessing....he is the second youngest and he picked up the flashlight and started playing with it. Is it such a crime? The mother stood several yards away in another aisle and shouted at him to stop playing with it. The 2 older girls were no older than 6 years old.they really wanted clips and nail polish and other girly stuff. The mother declared that the younger one will not be allowed to get anything but the older one will. The younger one (her name was zahava) throws a tantrum-notva huge one but she really feels frustrated at this point. She drops her bottle of orange juice and doesn't notice. Daniel the little 2 year old is busy with the flashlights and kicks the orange juice bottle without even noticing it. I pick up the orange juice bottle and ask the girl zahava if it belongs to her. She gives me a dirty look and grabs the bottle from my hand. She does not say a word to me. She goes down the aisle and her older sister thinks she took a store item so she tells her mother. Her mother encourages her to run after zahava and take whatever is in her hand. The older sister comes back empty handed realizing all zahava had was her own orange juice bottle. Zahaba is crying by herself and her family goes off without her to the cashier counter. Then they finish paying for their items and they tell at zahava to hurry up. They slob a piece of cookie down her throat and call it lunch. I hear the mother tell something about taking too big of a piece of the cookie. Idk at that point because we are outside and I can't stare at them so I go off like I'm naturally looking around. At the store I stayed in the same location trying on reading glasses. I only needed 2 items anyway which I foundand just thought I'd stay a little longer to observe family interactions. Sigh...

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where to surf tomorrow
trying to figure out a good word for this piece
does rainbows even exist at night time XD

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Tehehehehehehhehehehehehehehehehehehhee....

*evil-ly happy finger wriggling*

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Where is all of this stress coming from... WOW. I empty myself but more comes my way, more and more, getting worse.

Can't afford to let it get worse, okay...?
Maybe cause I left everything on the last two days. Totally my mistake.
I deserve it, but I'll do my best to ignore. Whatever.

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That I'm hopeless.

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Everything is my fault

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Oh my god.
Stupid throat.



Wait, wait, wait... no, better do something. Keep mind away.

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I feel like I've fucked everything up
I can't I can I don't know why is this all so hard when everyone else seems fine

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I'm sick of feeling tired :(