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-   -   Say something you wish you could say to their face. (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f35-games-things/t32-say-something-you-wish-you-could-say-their-face/)

Calaer May 16th 2017 01:49 PM

Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
 
I know these next few weeks are going to be the hardest on both of us, but I know we can over come this, and I know that we will be able to make the changes necessary to overcome this. I have faith.

Kate* May 16th 2017 04:04 PM

Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
 
You may not think about it, you may not talk about it, you may not have to tell anybody, and you may have gotten away with it, but you broke me and I will not let you forget. I won't throw it in your face, I won't curse you out, I'll be polite and respectful, but you were wrong, and you will remember me.

DeletedAccount71 May 16th 2017 06:02 PM

Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
 
I'm not okay.

Moxie. May 17th 2017 07:01 AM

Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
 
Please don't call other people to tell them that you're worried about me. I appreciate the concern, but I only tell a handful of people what's really going on in my life. It's not your place to assume that someone knows things and it's definitely not your place to share those things with them.

Calaer May 17th 2017 02:32 PM

Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
 
I love you, and I'm glad we were able to have that talk the other day. I'm so glad you're my Momma. <3 No matter what's on paper and what isn't, I love you, and I know you're the best.

Kate* May 19th 2017 06:38 PM

Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
 
You help disabled people work because they can't work and I don't think you're disabled. Please don't compare your 4 months of unemployment after an out of state move to the situation of your disabled client who is permanently limited. That doesn't mean you "get it"

Calaer May 21st 2017 03:03 AM

Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
 
I'm so happy to have you in my life. I know I don't remind you of that enough, but know that I'm so happy, and I'm so very thankful to have you there to support me, love me, help me up when I'm down, and I truly have no idea what I would do without you. You truly are my rock. I love you very so.

Arabesque- golfing girl. May 21st 2017 11:38 PM

Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
 
Your a mean sister.

Calaer May 22nd 2017 08:40 AM

Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
 
I'm glad things are getting back to normal with us. Yes, we had a fight, but no, that doesn't mean it has to be the end of the world. I'm happy things are starting to straighten out.

Krazy May 23rd 2017 07:13 AM

Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
 
Go fuck yourself.

Kate* May 23rd 2017 07:18 AM

Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
 
Why do I want to give you a second chance?! Maybe I just did that homework.

I understand that I called late and that this receptionist is new, but responses along the lines of "The main receptionist left 20 minutes ago and I don't know what's going on" aren't really acceptable

If you hated me as much as part of me thinks you do, you wouldn't have bent over backwards for me SO many times. As grateful as I am for all of that, there is NO excuse whatsoever for everything else.

Calaer May 23rd 2017 03:42 PM

Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
 
I'm excited for things to be different, and I'm so ready to move on from you and the control I allowed you to have over my life. No more. I'm moving on.

Storyteller. May 24th 2017 01:08 AM

Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
 
I needed someone to tell me I was wrong.

Calaer May 24th 2017 02:26 PM

Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
 
I'm glad you're sorta back. It's nice to know you haven't fallen off the face of the planet, again. You know, we are family, and though we may fight, I'll always stand by your side or help you if it's needed. That's just how things work around here, so get used to it.

Clarent May 24th 2017 03:26 PM

Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
 
I don't think I can tell you yet how meaningful you are to me, and just how much difference you make in my life, despite how little time we've spent together so far.

I'm incredibly excited for the future, and I hope we stick together.

I just hope my feelings won't rush forward.

Thank you, Talia. <3 <3 <3

Storyteller. May 25th 2017 11:21 AM

Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
 
I want to bail. I regret suggesting this because it's become so much bigger than what I wanted and now I'm not even excited about it. I should be, but I'm so tired and sad and over everything that I don't think I'll be able to enjoy it. I have half a mind to cancel it tomorrow, if only I could come up with a good enough excuse. Everything is just too much for me right now.

Bhorlin May 25th 2017 01:04 PM

Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
 
I WANT TO MARRY YOU NOW BUT I CAN'T

Calaer May 25th 2017 02:50 PM

Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
 
I love you, but I wish you were less demanding. And you are demanding. It's like I'm a teen all over again, and you try to treat me that way. News flash, I'm an adult, with my own life, and my own family, and I don't need you pushing your personality down my throat, thanks.

Clarent May 25th 2017 02:56 PM

Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
 
I do know what I feel is far more demanding that it's reasonable to ask...

But I can't help it.

You're one of a kind, and I'm so scared I'll lose you.

nothereanymore May 25th 2017 05:58 PM

Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
 
Imagining all the different things you could say is torture, especially because I don't even know yet if I'm going to do it.

Arabesque- golfing girl. May 25th 2017 07:30 PM

Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
 
I hate you so much!!!

Kate* May 26th 2017 08:35 AM

Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
 
"We have to" NO we don't. If they don't, we don't and just because she thinks she's entitled doesn't mean she is. You are subjecting yourself to her at this point and you're the only one whose still trying. I'm done. You should at least give her a gentile version of the truth. I'm not sick and I don't have cramps. I'm refusing to deal with the impossible people around me.

Everyone is different, so just because it doesn't apply to you personally, doesn't mean it isn't true. And if you don't like my information, you're more than welcome to find some of your own instead of coming after me for the validity of my sources!

Not every comment is directed at you, and it's not "a dumb thing to say" its actually the responsible way to go about things whether saying so was meant for you or not! God people, the world doesn't revolve around you!

In her case, she did, she's sure as hell contributing to it now, and it's not like I've said it to her. Just because it's the wrong thing to say doesn't mean I'm not allowed to think it Because it's true.

Storyteller. May 26th 2017 03:00 PM

Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
 
It must be nice to not have to think about things like that. Lucky you.

DeletedAccount24 May 27th 2017 09:28 PM

Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
 
You are sick. I am sorry (kind of) to say it but you are sick. Stop turning Facebook into a pseudo CP getaway.

Calaer May 28th 2017 03:13 PM

Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
 
I love you, and I can't wait to spend some time with you. :) I'm so glad you're home today. <3

NeuroBeautiful May 29th 2017 05:05 AM

Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
 
I'm so worried about you. I cant go to sleep till i know yoire safe. Please be okay. Please be okay. Please be okay.

Calaer May 29th 2017 12:22 PM

Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
 
It's good to have you back.

Kate* June 1st 2017 12:41 AM

Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
 
Oh, goody, it's now a game of "let's play the victim" on stuff that isn't even directed at us and start crap on every single thing.

As much as I want to trust you and believe that you actually care, what are the chances of there being 2 good people left who are willing to put up with and continue the toxic behavior they're engaging in?

I'm pretty sure at this point that a part of me will want it, and this will haunt me for the rest of my life.

Calaer June 1st 2017 04:00 PM

Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
 
I love you, and I know you don't understand why I need this so much, but I do, and I hope that when push comes to shove, you'll be there to support me, instead of trying to work against me.

DeletedAccount71 June 3rd 2017 01:54 AM

Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
 
I really hope this turns into something special.

Calaer June 3rd 2017 01:06 PM

Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
 
I wish we were on the same page for a lot of this stuff. It would make life so much easier right now.

Kate* June 5th 2017 06:50 PM

Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
 
The fact that you were sad that day saved you, but that doesn't mean anything else I went through was justified, excusable, or my fault. The fact that you've gotten away with this stuff for who knows how long doesn't make it okay. And then those comments were just ridiculous.

DeletedAccount71 June 6th 2017 02:29 AM

Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
 
I just wish I knew what you wanted.

Calaer June 7th 2017 02:04 PM

Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
 
I love you, but you expect too much from me, and I'm just not having it.

Skyline June 8th 2017 07:24 PM

Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
 
I feel disappointed and let down, not because of the fact in itself that you couldn't make it this evening or because I think that you should have called me this afternoon since you were free and you knew that I was, but because I want to be with someone who can't stand being away from me for more than a day and who will jump at every opportunity to spend time with me (within reason), and time and time again I perceive something you do which proves to me that you are not that person. You cancel plans, you choose to do something else over spending time with me... and it would be completely unfair of me to ask you to go to lengths to find a way around whatever obstacle is making you cancel, or to demand that you should choose to spend time with me instead of doing most other things, but that doesn't stop me from being acutely aware that if the tables were turned I would go to these lengths and choose you over most things.
As I said, I'm not upset at you for not being that person because you can't help how much time you do or don't want to spend with me, and in exactly the same way that you might not be that person for me, I am not that person for someone else. I'm not saying I don't believe that you love me, because I do; you've told me with words and proved it to me with actions, and I'm extremely grateful for that.

I'm just saying that you're not loving me the way I want to be loved, and I don't know quite what to do with that knowledge.

Firstly, I don't know if it's a question of you not loving me fully relative to your capacity to love and therefore not giving me your all, meaning that one day you will find someone who you will go to great lengths for and want to be with constantly but that I'm not that person, or whether you do love me fully relative to your capacities and that you are giving me your all but that your way of expressing love and your own experience of love is significantly different from mine, leading you to act in a way which is totally normal and loving according to your own nature but which doesn't correspond to my needs. It's either one of these two things, and depending on which one it is I would view this situation very differently.
Secondly, I don't know how you would act if you knew that I needed this kind of attention that right now you don't provide for me as much as I'd like. Either you would continue acting as you do now and wouldn't be bothered to compromise, in which case I would be incredibly disappointed because that would mean that once more I have fallen in love with someone who isn't in love with me (although you do love me in some sense), but at the same time it would allow me to move on and be confident with that decision; or, you may make an effort to give me the kind of attention I want even if it isn't in your nature to do so, in which case I would feel that being with you is worth the suffering because you clearly care about me an awful lot, at least enough to go the extra mile.

Part of me, though, wonders just how justified and sane my quest for the "right person" is. I know that we all have different needs when it comes to love (amongst all other things): some of us need a lot of space between periods of togetherness in order to maintain that eagerness of seeing the other person as well as to maintain our sense of individuality, whilst some of us, on the other hand, have a predisposition to become dependent on their partner and crave physical proximity at all times; some of us need to have frequent conversations with our partner to stimulate ourselves intellectually and feel in touch with them and aren't so needy in terms of physical intimacy, whilst some of us, on the flip side, want little verbal communication but need a lot of physical intimacy in order to feel connected with their partner; some of us have a need to express our emotional vulnerabilities to our partner and expect the same in return, whilst some of us have no desire to express ourselves emotionally and get easily irritated by our partner showing sensitivity. The list goes on, and I am aware that all of us are on a different place on the spectrum of needs in a romantic relationship. What I'm uncertain about is how realistic it would be to expect someone to have the same (or extremely similar) needs as mine so that we could both easily satisfy the other naturally without having to make too many compromises, and for that person to be able to fall in love with me and vice-versa. What if I am attracted to people who can love me fully, but their needs and experience of love are too remote from mine to ever be able to satisfy me naturally? What if people who have the same needs as me and would know how to satisfy me just aren't attracted to me? I know that it is necessary to make compromises in love and that it would be naive to expect the other person to know all of my needs intuitively, but I don't know to what extent I should trust this principle; because there must indeed be a point where the compromises necessary to make a relationship work are too numerous due to the people's needs being too remote from the other's, and it simply isn't worth the effort, but I have trouble discerning where the line is.

When am I being too lenient with my partner not satisfying my needs, and when am I asking too much?

I'm hesitant to express my needs to you first of all because I am afraid that doing so would reveal you to not be in love with me as I am with you, in which case our relationship would inevitably have an expiring date, and second of all because even if you did love me as much as I would like you to I'm scared that you would be put off by my demands if they are too, well, demanding, and that you would feel upset, judged or inadequate. But at the same time I know that in every relationship, unless my needs are magically the same as my partner's, I will have to state them clearly for them to be understood and potentially met. It's just that I've only recently become aware of this reality (as in, in the past 2 years) and I have little experience communicating in that way with a partner; and the first and only time I did, it resulted in us both coming to the conclusion that he wasn't all that "into" me and he wouldn't be able or willing to go to the effort to fulfill these needs of mine, leading on a period of misery for me in which I felt inadequate and insecure, and eventually leading to our (inevitable) breakup. This experience understandably makes me all the more hesitant to express my needs to you, because from that past relationship I have come to see my needs as clingy and overdemanding, so I've internalied this and I tend to supress these needs or allow them to surface when I'm alone, but never express them out loud.

I'm not quite sure where I'm wanting to go with this. I suppose what I want to do is first of all make it known to you that you aren't fulfilling my needs; and I don't mean this in a critical or judgemental way, because I am aware that your needs are different from mine and therefore it shouldn't be expected of you to intuitively guess these needs and fulfill them without me ever telling them to you. Which brings me onto my second point, which is that I would also be enthusiastic and glad to hear you state your own needs to me which aren't being met, so that I could better satisfy you as your partner. I would be grateful to do so first and foremost because I love making you feel fulfilled in any way I can, and secondly because it would be an amazing learning experience to rise to the challenge of fulfilling needs which I myself don't identify with.
Again, I'm hesitant to do this because although I know that you're someone who is very aware of psychological mechanisms and you seem to be pretty self-aware, I don't know just how much emotional intelligence you have, and since this is your first "proper" relationship I wouldn't expect you to have given much thought to the complexity of relationships and it wouldn't surprise me if upon hearing my suggestion to open up about our needs you would feel that I was being too serious and making a mountain out of a molehill.

Maybe I'll tell you about all this, maybe I won't. If I do I'll probably have to be in that open state I slip into when very tired or high or physically intimate with you. I'll see about it.

brightside June 8th 2017 08:22 PM

Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
 
i would bleed and fight and die for you over and over again
you make me wish reincarnation was real so i could spend infinite lifetimes with you
all i wish is to be yours and yours and yours far past the time at which the universe could ever expire
i pray to god each night thanking him for you and begging that i may keep you, even if only for a bit longer
i get high off of your words and your voice leaves me unable to speak

DeletedAccount71 June 8th 2017 08:58 PM

Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
 
I hope you like me as much as I like you, because in all honesty I want to be in a relationship with you. I just can't tell how you feel because we text so infrequently now. I would've said you'd written me off but you're making time to come spend the night and spend part of your only day off with me, so you must like me at least a little bit. It's so confusing. I think things will be better once I see you in person.

Please don't break my heart.

DeletedAccount24 June 9th 2017 12:46 AM

Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
 
You are so self-centered! Why?! Cut the shit and grow up. Why haven't I blocked you again yet?????

Calaer June 9th 2017 03:20 PM

Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
 
I love you, but you've got to tone it down. Everything is fine, and my anxiety can't handle you acting this way, especially in public.

Kate* June 9th 2017 03:25 PM

Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
 
I wish I could still trust you, but I realize that the chances of you being the only "human" one left are almost nil. I can't stand the idea that you could be the one who turned on me, but maybe I need to accept it. You know, if you were better at training him to gaslight people, I wouldn't suspect a thing. Good job for turning nice, caring, people into manipulative abusers who victim blame the crap out of the people whose lives they destroy in order to escape responsibility for their own disgusting conduct. You should all be ashamed of yourselves. If you can afford to do this to your future, you aren't as desperate as you claim to be.


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