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You're not fighting me, you're fighting the homework, the bad health, the insomnia, the urges, the suicidal thoughts...all those things and more.

Just not me.
:(

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I'm thinking that no matter what I do, I always disappoint someone in some way.:confused2:

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hahaha.
She's doing the same thing to you, you did to me.

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Re: What are you thinking right now?
 

Dear Family,

You know what?
Just go fuck a tree.
You have no right to ruin my life the way you do. You have no right to call me those names. You have no right to say that I'm selfish when I (try to) take time out of my day for other people on Live Help, though you wouldn't know. You have no right to call me psycho. You have no right to call people like me "weird" and say that we need mental help. You have no right (or reason) to try to kill me (though you have). You have no right to call me on the phone just to say those things that you did to me. You have no right to leave me and (I think) one other person worried sick. You have no right to hurt me. You have no right to do those "things" or even threaten to do them to me. You have no right to say (or do) any of the things you do, because you don't know the first thing about me.

Nobody should have to be put through what I consider torture and abuse on a daily basis, by ANYBODY, let alone FAMILY. You can bet your sorry asses that the second I turn 18 I will be out. You will never see my sorry, selfish, psycho, deserving to die self ever again. You are just a self centered lowlife that I shouldn't be involved with. I don't need to grow up, you guys do. You think I don't know much about how the world works, but I bet I know more about this cruel place than all of you put together. Do I need to explain further? I may not be beautiful, but I'm not ugly either. YOU are. ALL of you.

I DON'T HAVE TO LIVE LIKE THIS! I don't. I don't have to let you win either. I can survive, and then flaunt it in your faces. You all think everyone would be better off if I was dead, well guess what? I'm going to prove you wrong. I'm not going to let myself kill me. I won't. I can't. You know how competitive I am, and I'm not going to let myself lose this battle.

To mom- This isn't just a "phase" that I'm going through mom. It isn't "peer pressure," like you say it MUST be. I've been like this for as long as I can remember, I've just started to act on it fairly recently. Also, what do you think "punishing" me is going to do? Make me stop cutting like you said it would if I ever did cut? (NEWSFLASH! I DO already.) You say you know the world. You say you understand why "freaks" do these things. You don't. They say a mother knows more about her child than the child, they must be liars. You don't know me, and you don't care to.

To Elliot- I don't want to spend another second thinking or giving a fuck about you.

To Grandma/JoAnn- Go fucking screw yourself in a corner you narcissistic bitch! Also, see above note to Elliot. Finally, this might make me a horrid person, but I don't care. I hope you fucking DIE soon. I will NOT go to your funeral (other than to celebrate), I sure as hell won't miss you, and I will not, under any circumstances, cry.

I can't keep on living like this. I need to get out. I can't really talk about all you do to more than, oh, I don't know, one person? Be proud, all of you. You killed a person inside. But you know what? She's going to survive, because I SAID SO. She may have to wait, and suffer, and cut, and cry. But she's gonna be alright in the end. She's gonna get help, and live happily on an island in the Bermuda Triangle with a tiger named Vince.

Fuck you.

-------------------------

You asked. I answered. There's more. I can go into detail if you want, but I doubt you do. I'm tired anyways.

Goodnight good people of Teenhelp.

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Lolo <3 :hug:

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I'm just tired. I'm dead tired.

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Just this guy.. :)

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If I ever told you the truth, you would kill me. I'm sure of it.

It would be so nice to cut right now.

I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!

You hate me, obviously, because I'm not a good straight christian girl. NO! I'm a bisexual agnostic/atheist girl. Because not being straight is HORRIBLE. And you blatantly said that you hated me for that alone. Or you WOULD if I was. Well guess what mother? I AM. You think that I'm an atheist, which I might be. You hate me for that too.
You blame me for all your problems, including the divorce, which you also said.

You know what mother? Fuck you, you stupid, arrogant, mean, nasty BITCH!
I HATE you for hating me.






And guess what mother? God says hating people is a sin too.

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Hmph. Maybe I don't like him as much as I thought?

It's a weird thought... I just posted and now I realize that he's the complete and polar opposite from me.

*sigh*

Considering he's moving, I suppose this is a good thing. :)

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i'm thinking about even though it's been two years! woah. you're still on mind. :( i blame my current living situation.

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I'm thinking... YEH!! weekend!!! =)

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So I am quite certain I am going to have a binge and purge fest ... just gotta figure out what I want to binge and purge on! Hmmmmm! Something amazingly sweet and scrumptious and delectable!!

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Love you. <3

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Me again.
Why the hell do I always do this to myself? I need to stop hoping and feeling all those other good emotions, they just make me feel that much worse. >.<
I complain way too much. You people need to tell me to shut up. *)

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I seriously think that he\'s trying to hurt me, even though he says that he\'s not meaning to.

He doesn\'t realize that it\'s so hard trying to get over him.. :(

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ive been thinking is being bisexual or being gay wrong
cause im really confused about what i am and my parents brought me up to think that being gay is wrong but
im scared cause i could be gay
basicly im so confused and scared about it

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I\'m thinking it\'s prob bed time soon.
And I want a cuddle.

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Just thinking whether my lunch was too heavy today....:(