Re: breast feeding in public
 

Re: breast feeding in public
 

This has gone beyond a debate, its turned into one big ****fest of arguing and whatnot

Re: breast feeding in public
 

Re: breast feeding in public
 

Maybe if people stopped commenting on how this debate has turned into a rude "*****fest" people would be able to continue the debate.

I for one would like to know what people thought of the points that I made in my first post on page 7.

I find it strange that the users who are actually mothers and have experienced breastfeeding first-hand who posted got ignored.

Re: breast feeding in public
 

so would i...

Re: breast feeding in public
 

THIS is why I quite bothering with this thread. Even the people who are complaining of the pointless posts feel the need to also ramble on about how this thread is going nowhere (so I guess that includes me now :p).

Every good post I made got completely ignored for the most part. Every good point was over looked. Why? Because everyone just wants to argu about how everyone else is wrong. And people who have no idea how hard breastfeeding is (especially in the bathroom!), and how much confusion can be caused by switching between bottle and breast, and how pumping dries up your milk, felt the need to keep saying "Why don't you just do that!" after I and other mothers and mothers-to-be kept saying why you shouldn't. If you don't agree with breastfeeding in public, say it and leave it at that. But, keep your suggestions to yourself, because you don't really know what you are talking about. Ugh.

Re: breast feeding in public
 

This is exactly why I think the blanket/ towel option is impractical and unnecessary. I personally would rather display myself a little bit than stressing myself and then baby out, It just seems trivial... there are many other things I will be doing to be discreet.

If anyone is still looking at this thread to debate their views on breast feeding in public and not just arguing about how rude people are... READ THAT ^^^^
I think its the best display of why some mothers WONT bottle feed!
As a mother to be, I have made the decision that unless my boobs fail to produce milk, or something terrible happens like they fall off, a bottle will not touch my baby's lips! If that means I have to flash a bit of nipple when out and about... so be it!

Re: breast feeding in public
 

No one wants to challenge any of the mothers in here who have actually experienced breast feeding a baby in public?

FYI, it's freaking hard to breastfeed ANYWHERE, but it is the best thing possible for a baby. And I honestly don't think it should be of concern to anyone else but the mother what, when, or where the baby eats.

If you don't want to see, look the other way.

I'm not trying to be rude. It really aggravates me when people who know absolutely nothing about how difficult breastfeeding or anything about being a mother are bold enough to tell a mother that they should be out of sight when they do it. Did you know that, in most places (in America, at least) it's illegal for any company, store, etc. to tell a mother that she cannot breastfeed there? I can think of at least 2 big lawsuits relating to this.

Re: breast feeding in public
 

You mean other than those who told the mothers to use a pump, feed elsewhere or use formula? Pretty sure they've already been challenged multiple times.

So does this mean to say that arguments from non-mothers who haven't breastfed are less valued? This thread is going to have many non-mothers because of the TH forum, a bunch of people aren't parents so expect such arguments.

I was unaware of that but are you making a point out of this or just giving a little "did you know" blurb?

Since you gave 3 arguments (a, b and c), I'm going to address them in order of ease to agree/disagree with.

Your second argument is moot. Yes worse things do happen but so what? The point isn't to look at other horrible events, it's to address this one topic: breast-feeding. Thus, creating a tangent as an argument is moot.

Your first argument I'm going to agree with but also there's the sound the infant makes. When eating at a restaurant, the sound may be undesirable despite not seeing much of the woman's breast. But the main reason is the stigmatization of women's breasts being sexual objects and the fact that the breast is outside of the clothing purposefully while others are eating is what may also be undesirable. You may not see it but you know it's there. It also may be awkward to talk to the woman while she's eating and breast-feeding, so it's pretty much as though you're being ignored, which can be rude depending on the situation.

Your third argument you have a point on but it seems to be a lose-lose-lose situation. The baby crying can get irritating and ruin my dining experience (lose). The mother breast-feeding, for reasons in the above paragraph, can ruin my dining experience (lose). If the mother takes the baby into the bathroom to breastfeed, then as other mothers have said, it's difficult and very time-consuming but it's also something that ruins the dining experience for everyone both as a group and for the mother (lose). So what should the mother do? Pumping into a bottle works but if the bottle gets empty, then we're back at this dilemma. It seems to be taking the cake and eating it because there's no good alternative. If the baby is given formula but the mother is against that, then is not going to work. Something has to give otherwise this lose-lose-lose situation puts the mother on her ass with no route to take.

Re: breast feeding in public
 

I agree with you alot there. Yes mothers do need to feed there childs but a screaming baby does get annoying as hell. Ive experianced multiple times where the baby has not stopped crying and the parents havent even done anything to stop there little brat from bawling its eyes out.

Re: breast feeding in public
 

No. If a mother wants to EXCLUSIVELY breastfeed, which a lot of breastfeeding mothers do, they should not have to pump or use formula just to suit someone else. And I don't believe that a mother should have to inconvenience herself anymore than what she already has to to exclusively breastfeed. Exclusively breastfeeding a baby (who is hungry every 2-4 hours, if not more) is hard work. You have to eat healthy and more often in order to keep your supply up, you have to not exercise as much as you'd like to because doing so too much can decrease your milk supply, and you have to let the baby eat from you OFTEN in order to keep up your supply. Missing a single feeding can decrease your supply very easily and by quite a bit. When I started breastfeeding my son, he fed EVERY hour on the hour... Day and night. Should I have never gone out just because *gasp* I might offend someone if they see me feeding and caring for my son? I think not.

Pumping decreases your supply as well. The pump pulls milk from the breast differently than an actual baby does. It doesn't get as much, therefore, making your body think it needs to produce less milk. And once your supply goes down, it's VERY difficult to get it back up.

I used to pump once a day. Just once. And just doing that made my supply go down so low to the point that I wasn't making enough to keep my son satisfied and HAD to switch to formula.

Breastmilk has live antibodies in it to help boost a baby's immune system and actively fight off bacterias and other possibly harmful things in your baby's body. It is statistically shown that breastfed babies get sick less often than formula fed babies. Formula does not have live antibodies and formula also makes a baby gain more unnecessary weight than what breastmilk does. Not to mention, breastfeeding helps to create and unbreakable bond between mother and child. It's an amazing feeling knowing that your son/daughter gets all of their nourishment from you and ONLY you.

So I should lower my standards for my baby and give him something that I really don't want to because it offends someone to see me feeding my baby the NATURAL, and most normal way that there is?

And yes, I think that if people in here were giving their input without knowing all of that, doing any research about why mothers want to breastfeed, or even bothering to learn anything about it, I think that they should probably not give too much input. If you're just here to say, "I don't want to see it... Gross!", you don't know anything about the matter and should probably not have a say. There's a reason why we don't let children vote for President... Because they know nothing about politics.

Re: breast feeding in public
 

Breastmilk has more nutrients inside it then formula

Re: breast feeding in public
 

Re: breast feeding in public
 

Sorry to break it to you, but this isn't the forum then that you want for this type of debate. As for doing research, here's a pretty interesting thing. Others, including yourself are/were breast-feeding pregnant mothers and for those on here who are not or are male, asking you is one great way to get research on the topic. But since we don't have the common ground immediately established that you seem to want, I don't know why you're here for this debate. I don't know if you're aware of this or if you are but for some reason don't go elsewhere for this particular debate.

So, let's start, you used to breastfeed because it's healthy for the baby and creates a closer mother-child bond. Any other reasons? What did collegues at work or the father have to say about it?

Re: breast feeding in public
 

stupid quoting..

i think they should be able to breastfeed anywhere, but obviously not explicitly. If they take their shirt off, or are being silly about it, then they should be politely asked to be quieter about it.

Re: breast feeding in public
 

This.

I agree, there has to be limits when it comes to breastfeading. A mother take her entire shirt off to do it would be too far.

Re: breast feeding in public
 

Exactly. I'm not saying that it should be okay for women to flash their nipples around in public. But, for goodness sakes, if she wants to feed her child while she's out, she should be able to.

Re: breast feeding in public
 

I'm not the one who brought up the topic on this site, but I have had this debate elsewhere... Between myself and other mothers. I realize that the majority of the people on this site aren't parents. Breastfeeding is SO hard... People seem to think that it just comes naturally and it's easy to just pop your boob out and put a baby on it, but it doesn't work that way. It just bothers me when people make suggestions like giving the baby formula, pumping, or going into the bathroom to feed the baby. I mean, really? If the mother wants to exclusively (no bottles, pumping, etc... just the boob) breastfeed her child, she should have to go into a nasty public bathroom to do it?

My husband was all for breastfeeding our son. My family wasn't crazy about it because they wanted the chance to feed him too (bottle feeding), but all in all, they understood why I wanted to breastfeed. As far as coworkers go, I have none... I go to college full time and my husband supports us. But what does that matter?

Re: breast feeding in public
 

Re: breast feeding in public
 

Considering the father doesn't have breasts, it would be a little hard to for him to breastfeed. And if BOTH parents agree that they would like for their child to be breastfed, I don't see where the problem is. When I got pregnant, my husband automatically assumed that his son was going to be breastfed because that's what he wanted for him. If there is a disagreement between parents on this subject, however, it's between the two of them to come up with a decision, I would imagine. But I would hope that if the mother had any desire at all to breastfeed that the father would stand behind her on that. There are others ways for father and baby to bond such as skin-to-skin snuggling. I was actually given a pamphlet by my lactation consultant about this very subject... It listed several ways father and baby could spend bonding time together. If both parents are doing their part, the child won't have a problem bonding with either of them.

Re: breast feeding in public
 

Re: breast feeding in public
 

But if you're out and your baby gets hungry, you should probably feed him/her. When I breastfed, I didn't just put him on the boob whenever I felt like it. He would let me know when he was hungry by crying... And he wouldn't stop crying until he got what he wanted.

Re: breast feeding in public
 

Agreed, if they're taking their shirts off, then regardless if it's in a restaurant, mall, gym, etc..., they should be given a warning to put their shirt on and act appropriately, otherwise give them the boot.

Yet you asserted that non-mothers who haven't breastfed shouldn't have much value in what they say, hence, the majority of the site shouldn't discuss in this debate.

If the mother wants to go to the bathroom to do it, then that's fine or if the way she's doing it in a restaurant is close to getting her booted out (i.e. stripping off the shirt), then she should go to the bathroom or elsewhere to do that.

Do you recall posting: "I think that if people in here were giving their input without knowing all of that, doing any research about why mothers want to breastfeed, or even bothering to learn anything about it, I think that they should probably not give too much input"?

You have a point there and I can think of a few reasons for why it occurs. Either it's the enculturation that women take care of the children while the men don't as much. Cross-cultural studies have shown that mothers universally care for their family's wealth and child's well-being the same while the fathers in certain countries value the wealth before the child. I have the authors written down if you wish for the reference. Second, is oxytocin, which is a neurochemical known to be involved in the maternal relationship moreso than in the paternal relationship.

You must have failed courses in biology because males do have breasts as well as nipples and males can secrete fluids from their nipples, such as milk although it's not common and needs certain conditions for it to occur. Have you ever seen males with nipple piercings? Nothing more to say for this.

Re: breast feeding in public
 

Re: breast feeding in public
 

*face-palm*
I didn't come here to debate my intelligence, okay? I'm very much aware of all that you just said. Males do not have the NATURAL ability to nurse their young. Although whether or not a man can breastfeed is completely irrelevant to this debate. Next time you run out of things to say, can you please not bring my intelligence/knowledge into this?

Re: breast feeding in public
 

You dont have to be so rude about it

Re: breast feeding in public
 

What I knew from that was a) she probably knew men cannot breastfeed, which is false as shown in my explanation about it and b) she may have not known men have breasts. Clearly, you don't know what I'm thinking and neither of us can claim we know what each other is thinking so let's not pretend ourselves here on that, unless you somehow have evidence other than my "confession" to show you actually do know what I'm thinking.

You made an incorrect statement in your argument and I called you on it, that is all it was. If I said men had no breasts and someone called me on it, fair enough, my own fault. But fair enough, the wording of my comment wasn't the most appropriate of statements so apologies for that.

Re: breast feeding in public
 

Us males have breasts, we started as females but our biology changed and we lost those main features and gained new ones. Thats why men have nipples.

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Re: breast feeding in public
 

Re: breast feeding in public
 

Re: breast feeding in public
 

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People there may not complain either because they didn't care as their food was more important or they figured that if the mother didn't feed the child, then the child would continue being fussy (I assume that means screaming, crying and being obnoxious).

Re: breast feeding in public
 

Re: breast feeding in public
 

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Why do you need to use an explernation mark at the end of every paragrath you write?

Re: breast feeding in public
 

I think it's silly for everyone to keep going on about how breasts are considered 'sexual' and that's why women shouldn't breastfeed in public.

If you go to a beach, you see women who wear practically nothing. Bikinis do not cover much. In fact, a lot of low-cut bikinis don't even cover all of the breast. The same with low-cut dresses. But people don't object to this. What people usually object to is seeing a woman's nipple. Following that, it isn't "breasts" that are 'sexualised', it's just the nipples. And since guys have nipples as well and are allowed to wander around anywhere without their shirts on, it's just a ridiculous double-standard.

Re: breast feeding in public
 

I agree, Breasts are a completely natural thing

Re: breast feeding in public