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religion is getting in the way
so me and my bf have been together for 2 months. i know thats not along time but the conection we have...i guess u just have to know us. well i want to have sex with him and he wants the same, but religion keeps getting in the way. he has fallen away from God, unlike myself. i still try to stay close to him. and i think thats whats stopping me from having sex. what do i do? my bf respects me for all this so he isnt pushing me or anything, i just really wish i could get over this hump. i also wish i knew what it felt like so i know what to expect! help!
virgin in need of help |
Re: religion is getting in the way
Hey there :)
God is really important to me as well, so I see your conflict. Personally, I think you will be MUCH happier if you stay away from it until you're married. I've known a LOT of people who don't wait and are Christians and regret it later. Of course, pray about it. See what God says. Also, talking to a pastor or leader of your church or a mentor or something...see what advice they have to give you. I know that having spiritual support can be really fantastic. |
Re: religion is getting in the way
I know hormones can make you feel like you want it and are sure of it, but you should wait until you've been with him for at least a year, see if the feelings are still the same or stronger. You may even wait until you are married, if that's what you feel is right.
For me, I waited 5 months, after awhile it turned out to just be infatuation and not at all love, he turned out to be an arse after he got what he wanted which was to get laid, and I ended up regretting it and wish I could take it back, but I can't. You only get one shot to give it away, and if you end up regretting it, you just can't go back and change it. You can't. So my suggestion is to wait so you don't end up with regrets and feel all bad about it. |
Re: religion is getting in the way
If you feel ready for sex and want to have it, then you're probably as ready as you'll ever be. Everyone is different, and until you actually take that step there's no way to know how you'll feel about it. As for religion, all you can really do is decide what you believe. Anyone you ask is only going to be able to tell you what they think is the truth; no one actually knows. For me, it's simply a matter of morality. I'd rather live my life as I deem fit than try to guess at the thoughts of a god that may well not exist anyway. I have enough faith in myself to trust my moral judgment. So, think on it a little, and go with what feels right.
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Re: religion is getting in the way
I have the same problem! well sort of...
But I have deffo decided to wait, wait a long time if i have to, even if that means i will be a virgin until married i don't care. firstly, I don't think i could ever forgive myself for going against what God wants for me and secondly, If I get pregnant, i don't ever think i would be allowed in the house again, (my mum is very religious and has strong views about all this!), plus, i want to give it to someone VERY VERY special, make sure i give it to someone who i truly love :) i hope that helped, :) x x x |
Re: religion is getting in the way
When the time is right, it will feel right. You shouldn't be afraid or worried or anything about having sex. If that means waiting until you're married to you then you should wait. If he loves you he'll be able to respect that. And besides, think about how much you'll be giving him when you are ready and it can really be special. I think that's worth it.
It sounds like he is respecting your feelings so you shouldn't feel like you need to sleep with him. Relax. It'll be okay. :) |
Re: religion is getting in the way
Yeah my gf and I plan to wait for marriage. Because at that point even if we both wanted sex before that then it will be so much better because we waited and about your problem with thinking your forsaken for having sex. If you love each other and both want to have sex. God wants you to be happy with your life and enjoy it, God doesn't want to make you miserable he just wants to make sure your not making a regretable decision. if you don't think you want to have sex because you lust each other or have an infatuation go ahead :). The reason so many people wait till marriage is they are not making that mistake of giving it too the wrong person because marriage is a really big decision.
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Re: religion is getting in the way
Just close your eyes for sometime and after paryaing to god , listen toyour voice that is coming from inside , follow that . God resides inside every living human beign.
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Re: religion is getting in the way
To be honest I would wait. I've had a lot of friends, Christian and not, who have had sex, even when they thought they were ready, and regretted it afterwards. I think it is a wise thing for people to wait until marriage (or at the very least wait longer than two months) to see what exactly you could be getting into.
Also, pray to God about it. He's a very helpful person to talk to. :) |
Re: religion is getting in the way
While I'm not religious, my aunt is and some things I've picked up from her is that God loves you no matter what. You can have sex and he won't think anything bad about you, as long as you're a good christian and still love God, he will forgive you.
Aside from that, I still think you should wait. While you feel a connection now, it's still only been two months. I'm not sure what religion dictates, but how about taking sexual steps without actual sex? (hands and mouths) and start slow? |
Re: religion is getting in the way
I used to be in that same situation. Well kind of.
You need to ask yourself whats going to be the best option for you. What's going to benefit you long term. If you are religious and feel sex before marriage is wrong then I suggest not having sex. Basically what I'm saying is stay true to yourself and do what you feel is right. |
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