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-   -   i feel super lonely (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f540-loneliness/t108520-i-feel-super-lonely/)

pursuit-of-happiness August 25th 2012 06:57 AM

i feel super lonely
 
I dont reallu understand why boys dont pay me attention or they do just to get sex off of me. I really want something special like all my friends have but i just cant open up to anyone because so many guys have hurt me in the past and im super picky! Im okay on my own but I still want to experience all life has to offer and I get really down about this. I never text guys first and when I dont hear from them I feel unwanted :'(

Eternal August 25th 2012 07:35 AM

Re: i feel super lonely
 
Well I do see a couple problems here that could be contributing factors.
One being you don't open up. Now I'm not saying you have to go and spill all of your secrets to every guy you meet. But if you do start getting close to a guy then try and share a few details every once in awhile. It shows that you trust them and want them to be close to you. Put yourself in a guy's shoes. Wouldn't you want them to feel like they can share with you?
Another problem I see is you said you never text them first. If no guys are talking to you, then take initiative and talk to them first! There's absolutely nothing wrong with it and everyone loves when somebody puts in effort to have a conversation. Not only does it show that you actually want to talk to them, it gives you more opportunities to talk to guys.
I don't think there's anything wrong with you either that is keeping you from getting into a good relationship. Sometimes these things just take times and remember the attraction has to come from both ends meaning you also need to have feelings. So you should start by looking for a guy you could see yourself with. Then work towards becoming friends with them, and then if they don't take things further then its time to tell them how you feel.
Just take it one step at a time and don't stress yourself out over being single. As you said, you're doing just fine. :)
Also, there isn't really anything wrong with being picky but remember that if you judge people before you get to know them you might miss out on dating a really great guy. So just make sure to keep an open mind.

pursuit-of-happiness August 26th 2012 12:18 AM

Re: i feel super lonely
 
I just dont get why guys look at me and then dont approach me. And I find it odd that sometimes a guy will be obsessed with hanging out with me (texting all the time) and then after we actually hang out its like i never hear from them again. This was with this one guy who came over and we just watched tv...it has led me to believe he thought we would kiss and stuff when he came over because one time we made out when we were drunk and I stayed at his place. Ughh so annoyedd with boys...cant figure them out

Eternal August 26th 2012 02:50 AM

Re: i feel super lonely
 
I'm going to break this apart a bit. :)
Quote:

Originally Posted by pursuit-of-happiness (Post 937158)
I just dont get why guys look at me and then dont approach me.

Very likely its because of one of two things. The first being that they could be too shy to come up and talk to you. If you see a guy looking at you but doesn't approach you, then go talk to them instead. Times have changed and it isn't weird for a girl to take initiative anymore. If you want to talk to a guy, then go ahead and start a conversation first.
The second reason could be that they were just looking but weren't really interested. Personally sometimes I'll look at the guys that are around me but it doesn't mean I'm interested in them. Its just people watching basically.
Quote:

Originally Posted by pursuit-of-happiness (Post 937158)
And I find it odd that sometimes a guy will be obsessed with hanging out with me (texting all the time) and then after we actually hang out its like i never hear from them again.

This too could be because of a few reasons. Either he decided you two just didn't click and he wasn't feeling it, or it just didn't go to well in his opinion. Don't take it personally, it could even just be that he didn't think you were interested. If you want to hang out with a guy again and he doesn't ask, why don't you ask him instead?
Quote:

Originally Posted by pursuit-of-happiness (Post 937158)
This was with this one guy who came over and we just watched tv...it has led me to believe he thought we would kiss and stuff when he came over because one time we made out when we were drunk and I stayed at his place.

Sounds like that might have been the case, but its best to just talk about it. If something like this happens again, then communicate with them so you know why they haven't talked to you. Guys can be confusing, but if you're honest and open up and just talk to them and ask how they feel about you, then things will get a whole lot clearer and you won't be left wondering.


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