Bummed out/lonely
 

So, all me life, people have hated me, they've called me annoying, abrasive, weird, all that kind of shit. Never had any friends outside of school, and for the first 13 or so years of my life, never bothered me. One year, I was kinda bummed out. Then the next year, by my 15th birthday, I got really upset at where I was. Didn't/couldn't do anything. So this school year I think to myself, "I'm not in a position I'd like to be in for much longer." For nine months now, I've been doing everything I can to be nice to people, to make myself more likeable. And I don't really feel like people want to socialize with me at all. I posted like a week ago, and in the time since, I did more things socially, a friend and I went to see a play and there was this overnight thing at school yesterday. But I feel like the field trip and me paying to be someplace (especially in the lock in) doesn't make my loneliness and social rejection any less real. I was reading a post here about a guy (or girl, idk) who was upset because he hasn't had sex yet. While I do accept that sex is an eventual happening in a relationship, I kind of feel like him too, I'm just not aggravated only at the idea of not having sex ever in my life, I really feel like, what if I can't make a meaningful relationship with someone at some point (hopefully soon) in my life? Even just friends.
If I may use a metaphor, I feel like every time I climb up, the peak just keeps getting farther and farther away instead of getting closer.

I would appreciate any advice.
I apologize for my bad grammar.

Re: Bummed out/lonely
 

Your grammar was pretty good, especially for a post in the internet; have you seen facebook?

As for your problem - making meaningful relationships takes a seed. You must have interests of some kind; and if you have an interest somebody, somewhere shares that interest. I don't know how large a school or town you come from, but my suggestion is to continue to do the things that interest you, and if you encounter anyone else that shares those interests, go from there.

In my experience, the best friendships grew from a common interest. My best friend from my childhood, like myself, thought Transformers were awesome.

Our lifelong friendship grew from a toy, and he's one of my best friends to this day.

I hope this helps..
Good luck.