TeenHelp - Female Advice Preferred: Never had a crush, don’t have a libido and have never been sexually aroused. Should I worry or am I fine?

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Never had a crush, don’t have a libido and have never been sexually aroused. Should I worry or am I fine?

[SIZE="a"]Hi everyone, I am 17f and don’t have anyone to talk to about my questions so I will ask you here.

I basically want to know if there is something wrong with me or if anyone has experienced what I do now.

I never had a crush, nor was I sexually aroused and in combination with that I don’t have a sex drive.

I have tried masturbation to see what all the fuss is about but it didn’t do much for me. The closest thing coming to having experienced attraction would be declaring my best friend in elementary school my girlfriend, kissing her and going back to normal the next day (I don’t even know if this memory is real or just made up).

I know that I am young and could be a late bloomer but I got my period pretty early (when I was 11) and it seems like puberty is pretty much over for me. I also have never been sexually assaulted, I am not depressed and I don’t take birth control. In fact I would consider my mental and physical health to be quite good.

I know that not having crushes is normal as is a low libido but I have never heard of somebody else having a combination of all the things I (don’t) experience.

I also know that axesuality and aromanticism exist but I want to have a sexual and romantic realationship one day (probably with a girl/ women?) and the thought of not being able to feel the same things as my (future) partner makes me sad.

I just want to know if there is anything I can do, if I am normal or if anyone has advice for me who was/is in a similar situation.

TLDR: never had a crush, don’t have a libido or get sexually aroused. My mental health is fine and I don’t take birth control.
Should I worry or not? Has anyone experienced something similar and can give me some advice on what to do?

(Hope the formatting is all right as I am on mobile, also English is not my first language so please excuse mistakes language wise)[/size]

Re: Never had a crush, don’t have a libido and have never been sexually aroused. Should I worry or am I fine?

Hey there :)

Thank you for reaching out about this. In short, I absolutely don't think anything is wrong with you at all. I'm an aromantic asexual and I have felt a lot of what you're describing, but I know that there are people who are not aromantic or asexual who have also found that romantic attraction and sexual attraction just don't happen as often for them as it does for other people. There's nothing wrong with that at all. You don't have to be unwell physically or mentally, or have been through sexual assault, to experience this, and regardless of who you are attracted to or not attracted to, you'll never not be normal.

It is possible that you could be aromantic or asexual, but I think whether you want to put a label on this or not is entirely your own choice, so don't feel the pressure to do that if you're not looking to. Either way, people who don't experience crushes or sexual attraction are fully capable of still entering into a romantic or sexual relationship, and it's very possible for you to still meet someone who you can feel the same way as. As long as you are honest and open about what you're comfortable with, and they are open with you about what their needs are, it's completely possible to have a healthy relationship which could involve romance and/or sex. The main thing is that whatever you're doing, is something you're comfortable with and want to do. Don't feel like there's any pressure whatsoever to be romantically or sexually involved with anybody you don't want to be. There's a lot of emphasis on this out there, but in reality, it's not that big a deal if it's not something you're into right now.

I hope this helps to validate how you're feeling. If you want to talk at all, I'm happy to help so feel free to shoot me a message any time you like. As I say, a lot of what you've written sounds very very familiar to me, so I'd be happy to chat!

I hope you're doing okay. :)