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[FONT=""][COLOR=""][SIZE=""]Growing up our parents and church always said sex and masturbating is very very wrong until married. Tell us this over and over, sometimes I'll do this and it feels good at first and then ill after cry because I'm not allowed. Get upset. Don't tell anyone about this.[/size][/color][/font]

Hey,

I’m sorry to hear about what you are going through.

I understand that you were taught that masturbation is shameful but it’s really not. It’s very natural and normal for us to explore our bodies and do things to pleasure ourselves. It’s normal to have sexual desires and to want a way to express them. It’s a healthy way to release stress and even relax. It helps you determine what you want, like, and dislike which is something you can either use for solo masturbation or even to guide a future partner. It can help you learn more about your body and get more in tune with it.

From what I have heard, masturbation isn’t something that is explicitly talked about in the Bible one way or another either, although I can’t verify this one way or another. I’m not religious but I thought that God was supposed to be forgiving as well, where He wouldn’t necessarily send you to Hell for this.

I’ve heard it argued that masturbation is actually a way to care for ourselves. We do other things to care for ourselves like getting our nails done or going to the spa. These are activities they give us pleasure and help us to love ourselves. Masturbation is like that. You are doing something for yourself that brings you pleasure.

All in all I don’t think you’re going to Hell just because you masturbate and it doesn’t make you a bad person to masturbate. It’s not something I would talk to your parents or church about since it may not be safe for you to do so. But you deserve to care for yourself.

What they say it's not true! You should know how it's too much, but staying without it it's something almost inhuman for me.

It's not wrong to think about it and do it one day...

Hi there,

Growing up, I had similar experiences. I was raised in the Catholic church and spent my teens attending a non-denominational church, so I'm definitely familiar with the rhetoric surrounding sex and masturbation in those communities, as well as the emotional toll that it can take if you do choose to engage in one or both. I'm sorry to hear that you're experiencing those struggles at all.

As Dez stated, there is nowhere in the Bible that explicitly forbids masturbation. Instead, priests and pastors have made the claim that masturbation falls under the category of "sexual impurity", which is mentioned in the Bible. However, there is no passage that serves to back this up. Personally, I don't think it's sinful to masturbate and it certainly isn't something that God would punish you for. Even in the event that it is considered a sin, God is said to be forgiving of sin. Give yourself a little bit of grace there.

In spite of what you've been taught, masturbation is normal, natural, and can even be healthy. There is nothing wrong with exploring your body and learning what gives you pleasure. In fact, it can even be beneficial, as it will help you understand what you enjoy and allow you to guide a future partner when you do choose to have sex. Masturbation can also be helpful when it comes to releasing stress or helping you to relax.

While it's entirely up to you, please know that this isn't something that you need to confess to your church (if that's a practice at your particular church) or speak to anyone about if you're not comfortable doing so. It's perfectly fine for you to engage in masturbation and keep that as something private for yourself. It doesn't make you a bad person and it doesn't go against God or your faith, regardless of what you may have been taught by your parents or church leaders.