TeenHelp - What do I do about my fear of sec/sexual acts

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What do I do about my fear of sec/sexual acts

[FONT=""][COLOR=""][SIZE=""]Hi there, I posted a little while ago about a similar topic, but I’ve been dating my current boyfriend for 7 months now and things have been great, but I’m not a very “sexual” person I guess? I’m not sure how to describe it. I’m a virgin, and I don’t think I’m under the asexual umbrella, I get turned on and have a vibrator and stuff, I consume spicy media both drawn and written and all that. But for some reason the prospect of actually doing sexual acts or having sex for real makes me so anxious. To the point where me and my boyfriend haven’t done anything yet. And to be clear, he’s been very supportive the whole time, very patient, and has told me that he’ll wait as long as I need, but I can tell it’s starting to disappoint/frustrate him a little bit even if he tries to hide it, and I feel awful. I know I shouldn’t and he’s even said so before when I’ve brought it up, but I still do and I want to get over this fear or anxiety or whatever it is. Part of it is probably because I was raised religious but my family was never that extreme and I haven’t been religious in years. I want to be able to do this with my boyfriend, and for me. And I just don’t know how to do that yet… any advice would be greatly appreciated, thank you-[/size][/color][/font]

Re: What do I do about my fear of sec/sexual acts

Hey!

I think being anxious about your first time is normal to some extent, although for you it seems to be taking over a little bit. Remember not to force yourself to have sex when you're not ready. There's no rush to have your first time, and those who are good for you will understand.

Maybe you can talk to him about "setting the mood." For example, you might be able to set up the bedroom/where you want to have sex in a way that makes it more comfortable or inviting for you. It also might help if you do foreplay before you start with the actual act of sex. We can't go into tons of detail but it may be things like kissing or touching in certain ways before starting penetrative sex. It may make you feel more "ready."

Re: What do I do about my fear of sec/sexual acts

Yes, as Face Up said, there is no reason to rush.
Will be a bad experience for you two if someone it's not ready. Hope he understands your feelings about that :)