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Why so Pregnant?
Ok first off no one try to take offense to this, it is a frustration rant with a hint of jealousy.
Has anyone else noticed how many teens are getting pregnant now a day? I mean I was going through my facebook friends, and like at least 15% are pregnant or already have a kid! My best friend was the first in our school to have a kid then it all went down hill from there,then everyone else started! Now my new friend from college just had her kid! I DON'T UNDERSTAND! Then I find out two more people I go to school with are having babies! Why is this?! Do people really not know how to use a condom or birth control? The day after pill? Because i'm sorry you're still children and this is getting out of control. Or....do they actually want kids this young? Are they getting pregnant on purpose? But that I don't understand either, because most of the people the dad leaves or they have no money. So why do it?! Ugh...just someone explain this to me. Because I don't get it! And it's making me need a baby fix even more! I love babies so it's sad that I haven't baby sat in forever. So then it's a little bit of jealousy like. I WANT A BABY. But then I think, I'm too young, I want to actually have the father be apart of it's life, I want to wait to have a stable job and my own house. Then I can have a baby. So yeah. |
Re: Why so Pregnant?
Believe me you don't want a child at your age, I'm 26 and somedays I wonder what I've gotten myself into. My husband and I were financially set-up and ready to have a family but after nights of sleep deprivation, days of a teething child screaming his head off it'll drive anyone nuts. Yes there are those magical moments like first words, first laughs, first steps but babies turn ones life upside down.
I think the biggest reason why teens are getting pregnant is carelessness and not enough information/knowledge. If you have sex unprotected there's a risk of getting pregnant, alot of people don't understand that. They think they might be safe due to circumstance but don't realize the facts of IF YOURE HAVING SEX UNPROTECTED IT WILL EVENTUALLY HAPPEN. So many teens out there are clueless about birth control, condoms and pregnancy tests, I think its something that needs to be taught more thouroughly wether its in school or by parents. |
Re: Why so Pregnant?
Agreed. And I don't think all the shows are really helping either. You'd think 16 and pregnant getting popular would help inform people it's not as easy as it looks. But guess not.
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Re: Why so Pregnant?
I'm 17 and I'm pregnant.
At first I was incredibly ashamed of myself- ashamed of what my parents would think, and what pretty much everyone else would. And when I told my boyfriend and his reaction was far from what I'd wanted it to be- he really wasn't happy, it reallyreallyreally hurt me more than anything. But, he did come around and now he's being so supportive, we have our little fights, but that's just normal! I'm planning to move in with him. I'm also planning to carry on with my education, as is he- so that we will be able to support our child. He or she- I've yet to find out the gender, is now the most important thing in my life. At first I always thought like you- birth control is so readily available, are these girls stupid?! But I made that mistake, I didn't take my pill for a couple days and I slept with my boyfriend- our protection broke, but I didn't think anything of it until a few days later. People can think what they want- but you really shouldn't make judgements on other people's situations before you truly know what's going on. It's far from ideal that I'm pregnant now- it's not what I wanted, but now, all I want is my baby to be okay and healthy. I also want to give my child a good future- and to be honest, it's regardless of age, just because I'm 17, it doesn't mean I won't make a good parent, or I've just been stupid and had a baby for the fun of it- because that is not true. My child will have a stable family and a home, and just because i'm not in work yet, doesn't mean I won't be soon- I'm trying so hard, as are millions of other soon to be or Teen Mum's out there. I have to admit that I come from a slightly wealthier family, which may make things easier over time, but it doesn't mean that I'm not going to get up and get my own job, because I will- I'll do just about anything to support my child. And to be honest, it's comments like that, that really put me down and make me feel like some stupid, dumb girl that has got herself into a bad situation. Sorry, I feel like i've ranted... I just can't help but feel judged a lot now. :P And it's not very nice to feel that way- my Dad's still mad about it, but what can we do? What's happened has happened and I want to make sure my baby's future is secure and safe, which it will be. |
Re: Why so Pregnant?
I know exactly what you mean. I'm pretty sure that more than 15% of my Facebook friends have kids or are currently pregnant. It's insane. Five girls walked across the stage pregnant when I graduated last year, and that's not counting the ones who already had kids.
I'll agree, the teen pregnancy shows like "Teen Mom" and "16 and Pregnant" definitely don't help. In a way, they glamorize teen pregnancy. They're supposed to be showing teens that having a baby at 16 isn't easy, but ultimately, I think they have an opposite effect. It seems like the "cool" thing to do is to have a baby. Babies are cute, so who wouldn't want one? Obviously, there's much more behind the cuteness. There are times I've thought it'd be nice to have a baby, but I do know the challenges. I know that taking care of a baby is a major responsibility, so I won't go and do anything stupid. So many teens are missing out on being kids because they're having kids themselves. And I don't mean to judge teen parents. Stuff happens. I understand that. |
Re: Why so Pregnant?
Some things said in this have annoyed me a little I became pregnant when i was 18 and has her at 19. I WAS on birth control i had the implant fitted and thats meant to be 99% effective! Having a baby is tough M has cried all day because shes over tired and has a cold, she still isn't asleep now so has been up 12 hours you really dont want a baby yet, yes its amazing but wait for a while until you've lived more of your life.
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Re: Why so Pregnant?
i am 12 years old and i am pregnant. It wasn't my choice though :( At first i was really ashamed and afraid of what everyone would think and i was confused about what i should do abort or adoption? but i talked to my mom and she is very supportive and so many things in my life have changed so much for the better wich was the complete opposite of what i was thinking. Now i am very happy and excited to have my baby. I am already working so that i will be able to support my baby and i am learning a lot. I know it can be difficult to take care of a baby and raise it but with my moms help i know i can do it :)
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Re: Why so Pregnant?
Wow..really?? o.O I hardly know anyone that's had a baby. Two girls that I distantly knew from school had them at eighteen but I think that's it.
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Re: Why so Pregnant?
Quote:
With that said, I think with the majority of girls its not quite an accident. I think its more "not using a condom cause it doesn't feel good" or "missing a pill... but f*** it we'll be ok this one time" or just being dumb and not using anything because they don't care what happens. I DO think having a baby becoming the "in" thing to do. Like babies are the coolest cutest new accessory for girls. And I DEFINITELY think Teen Mom/16& glamorizes it. These shows show NOTHING about what its like to take care of a kid. Its all about there petty teenage drama. Nothing about teething, colds, colic, where to get money for your diapers, and all the other million things that comes with having a baby. I seriously think girls are looking up to them like role models. If they can do it, so can I! "Beating the Odds" my ass... What life is like after having a baby is something you can't even comprehend until you've experienced it. I won't try and explain for the millionth time why its so hard because no one takes it seriously anyway. I'd love to see a show about girls who are forced to take care of a newborn for a month and see if they still say the want a baby. I don't know too many teen moms who will say they regret having there child, I don't regret mine. I do regret when I had him though. Its ridiculous how much you have to worry about when it comes to your baby and I sure as hell could have given him a better life if I had waited. Because once the little one is here its all about them, not about you wanting you new accessory that's only cute and tiny for so long anyway. So anyone on here who wants a toddler for a week? It's win/win. I get a much needed vacation and you get snapped back into reality! ;) |
Re: Why so Pregnant?
Having a baby is "IN" a lot of young girls are doing it because they think it's easy, and that the baby stays cute forever.
Some girls have no choice (birth control failing, or rape etc) However some girls are purposely out there trying to get knocked up. It's sad, and yes shows like Teen Mom and 16 and pregnant do not really help.. When I was in middle school I went through sex education at least 4 times. If schools have stopped doing that, they need to bring it back. Kids should also know where they can go to get free condoms, or birth control pills. |
Re: Why so Pregnant?
There's probably a million and one reasons why a young woman may end up pregnant:
1. Probably the biggest reason is through unprotected sex. Obviously, moms don't always supply their 12-13 year old kids with birth control, and not all 13 year old guys have the luxury of owning a condom -- even if they did own a condom, he might not even use it. Kids aren't very mature at that age; believe me, I was a wild child back in the day and not ashamed of it. And even if a guy didn't wear a condom, a young girl wouldn't really recognize the risk she's putting herself in. So it's really a lack of maturity and knowledge that may contribute to young pregnancies. 2. I think that wanting a baby is a biological desire. Men are biologically programmed to procreate, and women are biologically programmed to desire children. Men desire sex, women desire children and when combined...it creates babies. So I think a lot of young girls start experiencing these desires to become pregnant, and find it difficult to control which increases their chances of unprotected sex. They may say that they want to use protection, but deep down inside they may wish the condom broke or something went wrong. Teenage pregnancy shows are so popular probably for that very reason -- we experience that desire through someone else, we pretend to be that person in the TV show with the baby, etc. 3. It really could be a self-fulfilling prophesy. If you see girls or women starting to get pregnant and have children at younger ages, you may feel obligated to do the same. If that's what a younger girl does, then maybe I should also. As they say...it's the "cool thing to do." 4. It could be used as emotional support. Some women may get pregnant because it gives them a "reason to live." So having a baby, one of the toughest jobs in the world, gives young women motivation to not do stupid shit and focus on living instead. So some women might look at pregnancy as a way to cope with depression. But that's more my personal observation so I'm not going to say how often it's true. 5. Going into depth about the last one, I also think it's possible that young women look at pregnancy and childbirth as a way to get attention. As humans, we have a desire to be important so if we have children, and we're young, we might get that attention from our family, friends, and random strangers. We're egocentric so we do things that ultimately benefit us, and so if a woman feels hopeless, not important, or really down about herself, she may get pregnant to boost her self esteem when people give her the title of "Mother." When we think of mother, we think of someone who is mentally strong and able to carry her own load. I could go on about the positive attention, but I'll move onto the negative attention saying that a woman may get pregnant to rebel against her family or someone else. 6. It could be because she's trying to take advantage of the guy someway or another (either to attempt keeping him as a boyfriend or as a way to purposely mess up his life after something he did or something like that). On a side note, some people say that she may not have a choice to keep the baby, but you could give the baby up for adoption or abort the fetus so I think they do have a choice and the reason why they would keep the baby is more complex than "because they had no choice." I'm sure I could create some more, but I think those are the ones that stand out the most. ;) |
Re: Why so Pregnant?
i only now one person around my age who has had a baby.. so i wouldn't really say everyone is getting pregnant. i do know a few girls who have had abortions and LOADS who have taken the morning after pill (a few who do on a very regular basis.) but really i don't care, it's their life and none of my business. a baby would totally mess up my life and plans so i'd never be stupid enough to end up pregnant. (i'm not saying everyone who gets pregnant is stupid - i know there are exceptions.)
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Re: Why so Pregnant?
I would like to say that a year ago I WAS taking birth control and we also used condoms. The chance of me getting pregnant was extremely slim to none. Yet, the condom broke ONCE and I still got pregnant at the age of sixteen. So all of these teen moms aren't stupid twits who just don't use protection.
That being said, yes, there are a lot of pregnant teen these days. When kids to decide to have sex, pregnancies are bound to happen. Parents of these kids also don't usually supply birth control, so that's another factor in this whole equation. There just needs to be more information provided out there for middle and high school students who are contemplating sex. We can't fix it any other way. |
Re: Why so Pregnant?
I know exactly how you feel. I can't believe how many young girls are getting pregnant at such a young age. Pretty much everyone I knew in high school are having babies. One friend just found that his girlfriend is expecting, my Avon lady and good friend just had her baby Jocelyn Elise yesterday, one of my best friends in high school is pregnant and due sometime in the summer. The list just doesn't end. On top of that, a lot of people I know are engaged and getting married or already are married. It's ridiculous. Sometimes I think I missed the mass e-mail that went out (just kidding) to join on what I like to call the Baby Bandwagon.
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Re: Why so Pregnant?
I dont think you can put it down to just one thing.
There are some teenagers out there who I'm sure think having a baby will be easy, the child will stay cute and little forever. Its also the "love" thing to an extent as well. I think there is many girls out there who maybe do not get the care and attention that they need from their families. As a result, they want a baby who will depend on them, a baby who will need them, and a baby who will love them back. If you get what I mean. Then there are the people who are taking precautions, using condoms, the pill etc and it does genuinely fail to work and they fall pregnant. I also think there is a lack of information out there regarding the different types of contraception etc, the facts and the figures regarding each one.this is something I'd like to see improved so each individual can choose the one that best suits there needs. |
Re: Why so Pregnant?
i think the problem is more down to poor sex education in schools, or schools where it is just an all girls school, or it could just be the way life is, also schools in the uk do have very poor sex education. if theres poor sex education your going to have higher pregnancy rates.
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Re: Why so Pregnant?
I Second the sex education is crap in the uk tbh.
when i was in school we had a few classes and it ended up with the boys taking the piss because we were given a bannana to stick a condom on it, but we wernt really taught anything about sti/std or anything like that. |
Re: Why so Pregnant?
You say sex ed is poor in the uk, I don't have the exact figures but I'm sure teen pregnancy rates have dropped in England over the past few years. They are working on improving sex education and teaching it from a younger age.
I know what you mean, a girl who went to my school had a baby last year. She broke up with the guy not long after and this year got pregnant again and got it aborted. I don't usually judge but all she seems to do is go out and get drunk. I never hear her talk about anything else. Ofcourse I'm not saying all teen moms are like this though some are actually a credit to themselves and work hard to make something of themselves despite becoming a young mum. Edit: No amount of sex ed will ever stop teenagers getting pregnant. It may make some more aware therefore safer in regards to sex. But there will always be a minority who will do what they want regardless of what you tell them. |
Re: Why so Pregnant?
You can't blame poor sex education on teenage pregnancies, even people who know an awful lot about it can be irresponsible.
I think lots of people are getting pregnant because lots of people are have lots of sex at a younger age. |
Re: Why so Pregnant?
I know what you mean, I know people getting pregnant at age 14! CRAZY! peer presure maybe? There couldb a few reasons why there getting pregnant. But it is crazy!
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