TeenHelp - Preventing child sexual abuse

Preventing child sexual abuse
By Jenna (.:BreakingBeautifully:.)

One in four girls and one in six boys will be sexually abused before they turn 18. These staggering statistics may leave you wondering what you can do to help children who might fall prey to child sexual abuse. Most people are aware that child sexual abuse occurs, but are unaware of the steps they can take to try and help prevent it, which leaves them with a sense of hopelessness.

Many people cling to the idea that the main people who are a threat to the children in their lives are strangers; however, the fact of the matter is a high number of children are abused by someone close to the family such as a relative, family friend, or neighbor. It is important to note that child-on-child sexual abuse does occur, but this article is going to focus on sexual abuse perpetrated by adults. Therefore, it is important that people take certain precautions in regards to any person who is in a child’s life.

Be aware: How does a particular adult seem to act around children? Does s/he respect their personal boundaries? Or does the adult seem to constantly push the limits? Some examples pertaining to the child's boundaries are:

Will not let the child set their own limits, and it is possible they will put the child down in an attempt to try and stop them from setting those limits.
Persists in trying to hug, touch, kiss, wrestle, or hold a child, even when the child does not want the contact.
Might insist on walking the child to the bathroom on a regular basis.
Might turn to the child for emotional or physical comfort by sharing personal or private information that would be more appropriate for an adult audience.
Has secret interactions with the child such as 'special' games or sharing sexual material.
Is interested in a particular child’s sexuality and talks excessively about the child’s developing body, or might ask the child inappropriate questions about their body.
There might be an adult who you know that exhibits some of these behaviors around children that you are close to. If you are concerned, you can talk to the adult about it and let them know that you find it inappropriate. If the child is not your child, you might want to talk to the child’s parent or guardian about what you have been noticing (if it is not the parent or guardian that you suspect) so they are aware of the situation. You should talk to the child as well and try and get some more information, and make them aware that they have a right to their personal boundaries.

Minimize contact: Abusers can be very friendly with the family of potential victims in hopes of gaining trust and earning time alone with the child. Due to this possibility, it is a good idea to limit one-on-one interaction between a child and an adult. However, having some time alone with adults can help build a child’s self-esteem and help them learn how to build healthy relationships. Here are some steps you can take to ensure that a child is protected and still ensure that they are able to learn, grow and maintain a positive self-image.

Try to ensure that the outings are in a place that can be observed by you or others.
Talk to the child about the outing and see how they respond to the questions you put forth. Are they willing to answer them, or do they seem secretive or get upset and moody?
Ask the adult to be specific about the activities planned for the outing. Where are they going? How long do they plan to be there? Be sure to observe the adult’s ability to answer these questions.
Don’t be afraid to drop in unexpectedly when an adult and child are spending time alone. This is a way for you to make sure that the adult is telling the truth and keeping to the specific activity they had planned.

Talk about it: Many people think that there are certain subjects that should not be discussed around children. Child abuse is not one of them. If a child is equipped with knowledge about sexual abuse, it increases the likelihood that they will tell someone if it has occurred. Some things that might be worth talking to children about include the following:

Talk to the child about their body parts and teach them the anatomically correct names – vagina and penis. This will help them if there is a time when they have to explain something.
Teach them about "good touch" and "bad touch." "Bad touch" is something that makes them feel uncomfortable. One way of explaining this to a child may be to state that "bathing suit" areas (for boys and girls) are "off-limits," and that if someone is trying to touch them in those areas, they need to stay away from that adult and tell a parent. Of course, there will be exceptions to this rule (ex. annual check-ups with a physician), which should also be discussed. Books like "The Swimsuit Lesson" can assist you with initiating these types of discussions.
Remind them that no grown-up should ask them to keep secrets. This is important to discuss because abuse is built upon secrets that grow from there.
Let them know that they have the right to say "no" when an adult asks them for a hug or a kiss. This gives the child the ability to assert the right to their own body and start establishing personal boundaries.

One last piece of advice you should consider is that the best way for people to become more informed about topics such as this is by sharing information. Therefore, it would be great if you would talk to your friends and family about what you learned by reading this article. Imagine if you told two people and they told two people and so on - this information would just keep spreading.