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the guy April 18th 2016 12:55 AM

New to site; trans issues
Hey, I'm a trans guy. My parents disagree with me because of religious stuff and they think I'll change my mind or something, so, outside of my own mind and the Internet, I'm still female. Also, I'm on my period.

If I feel sad or mad or whatever I might post about it on here.

So, on to the main subject of this post. My body looks fine with clothes on, but without them I get to see my curvy, hairless body in all its (ugly) glory, big butt and boobs and everything. So, the lower half of my body could probably get taken care of fairly easily (if "fairly easily" means working out a ton and possibly getting a liposuction on my butt if I have the money, which I probably don't; oh, did I forget to mention I'm overweight?), and the breasts could get taken care of through surgery... but it's the waist and pelvis I'm most worried about. I see pictures of trans men's bodies and I don't know how the hell they're able to make their bodies not look feminine, unless they were actually able to transition as teenagers because their parents were magically more supportive and understanding than mine.

Oh yeah, and sometimes I feel like transitioning is pointless because I'll be the same person I am right now and I can still be masculine as a woman. Personally, I'd rather be a feminine man than a masculine woman. Sometimes I feel like I'm just transitioning because I'd rather be gay than straight, but then I imagine being the woman in a straight relationship, and I cringe inside. I don't care if I'm gay or straight or bi or pan or ace; I want to be the man in the relationship. If I ever question whether I really want this or not, my final answer will always be a yes.

I don't know if my parents find it "unnatural" of me wanting to be a man or not, but, now that I think about it, they should have seen it coming. I was kind of feminine as a little kid, but I remember one time I saw two guys running shirtless, and I told my parents I wanted to be a boy so I could run around without a shirt on. My parents responded with the whole "God made you a girl" argument. I wondered for a while why I didn't talk about wanting to be a boy any time other than that, but then I realized that I might have thought about what my parents had said to silent my thoughts of being a boy. I was a big rule-follower, after all, and I listened to pretty much everything my parents told me until I thought for myself more.

Anyone can post advice, but I might prefer advice from fellow trans guys.

Evanesco April 18th 2016 01:15 PM

Re: New to site; trans issues
Hey :) Welcome to the site.

It can take a long time for parents to come around to the idea of their child being trans, and some parents never do unfortunately, but that doesn't mean that you can't live authentically and be happy. It's really good that you've told them. I know that there are some religious groups that are accepting of trans people, maybe you could have a look for some information on it so you have something to show them. It is possible to be religious and trans, and possible to be religious and accepting of trans people.

In regards to transitioning, testosterone does help a little with hips because it redistributes where you hold some of your weight. It's not a magic fix all but it does help (just like it also changes the shape of your face to be more masculine).

There are cis men with big butts and curvy hips though. It's not as common, but bodies come in a variety of different shapes and regardless of what shape your body is, you're still a man.

If you don't mind me asking, how old are you? I know in most places once you're eighteen you can start transitioning on your own as you won't need parental consent any more. If you're not eighteen yet, that would be something to look forward to. Testosterone actually works really well for trans guys even if they transition late, and most trans guys who've been on testosterone a while pass really well.

I hope some of this helps, and if you want to ask me anything or talk about anything feel free to pm me. :hug:

Gothic Wolf April 20th 2016 05:43 PM

Re: New to site; trans issues
Stop shaving if that is an issue; I'm a trans women and can hide the fact I shave my legs with socks and long trousers, the same could work for you hiding not shaving.
Depending on your age and location you may be able to start transitioning without their consent, it will be worth looking into.
Also if possible try to come out to other people your friends and stuff.
As you said you can deal with the lower half of your body with a ton of working out; my advice just start with that.

the guy May 4th 2016 06:31 PM

Re: New to site; trans issues
I don't shave my legs. My mom forced me to once. :(

Anyway, I saw something kind of disturbing this morning. Every morning, I watch an episode of a show (in this case, Bob's Burgers) while eating my breakfast. My mom usually sits next to me with her computer. Today she was talking to my sister, so I had to pause the show while she was talking. I look at her computer out of curiosity of what she's looking at; I saw a picture of what seemed to be a Bible verse, with a finger covering a phrase. The phrase below the finger was one that spoke against crossdressing; it said something like "a woman can't wear what a man wears, and vice versa". Can you guess how the poster interprets it?

Yep. Transgender issues are an abomination in the eyes of God. What concerns me more is that my mom liked the post. She might have been thinking of me when she did that. I'm not religious, so the post itself didn't really affect me much, but seeing that like at the bottom of it confirmed how stubborn my mom was about this issue. While she was talking to my sister, she took a glance at me while I was staring at the post, and I diverted my eyes. She might have noticed that I was looking at the post, but she didn't say anything about it.

So, yeah. That happened.

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