TeenHelp - How to come to terms with my femininity?

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How to come to terms with my femininity?

I am a 15 year old cis girl (lesbian). All throughout my life i have often rejected and actively avoided traditionally "feminine" things. I can count the number of times i have worn makeup on one hand and when i was little i would always insist that i would "never care about fashion" and other things i deemed girly. I cut my hair short and my friend group was a bunch of rowdy boys, of which i was arguably the rowdiest. Whenever we talked about girls i "didnt count" as one, and my mom described me as a tomboy growing up. I was raised mormon and i didnt like it, and as soon as i was old enough to be taken out of the mixed gender primary classes and put into the female only classes in church i found it very unsettling and i left the church shortly after. I avoided lots of feminine stuff for no other reason than it made me feel unsettled. But lately (in a broad, building feeling over years sense) i understand femininity to be a beautiful thing. Gentle and fierce force that is indescribable. But thats only if its treated gently. I fear the concept of showing femininity. I dont know why, and its caused by a lot of things, but i feel like people would view me differently if i showed it. Like i would be defined by being a girl who does girly things instead of everything i have done and accomplished in my life. I dont want to be just some girl, i want to be an incredible person that loves people and is loved by people, regardless of gender. I have a very distinct personality that is memorable, and i fear it may be washed away in the minds of people if i were more like other girls. I feel very feminine, and i dont know what to do about it. Also i dont feel like this about masculinity at all. I dont really understand masculinity, and it is if anything a bit unpleasant to me based on what men act like and get away with sometimes that women dont (i dont really know how to describe it). How do i come to terms with embracing femininity instead of pushing it away?

Re: How to come to terms with my femininity?

Hello and I'm so sorry that you have not had a reply yet and I hope that you are doing okay.

As a girl you do not have to be into makeup, pinks, purples, sparkles, dress all of the time. You always want to be happy no matter what, because if we are not happy then we will get upset with ourselves and that is not a good feeling to have. It is also totally fine to be a tomboy too. You be you always, and that is totally fine to do.

You said that you like girls and nothing is wrong with that. We all like different people. We do not want to be the same and like the same people. It is totally fine to have friends with boys, you should be friends with people who you like and want to hang out with.

If you change your mind and want to be super girly and want to have on all of the pinks, purples, sparkles and dresses, that is totally fine to do or if you still want to be a tomboy or be half and half, then be that. No matter how you feel or how you dress, always be yourself and everyone is still going to love you because you are a lovely person inside and out. I wish you the best with this.