idk what the heck i am qwq
 

ello,

sooooo yea idk im sort of this 'im a boy in a girl kinda way and also a girl in a boy kinda way and im also neither but im also both' kind of situation ;-; i have no idea what id call myself but all i know is something kind of feels...off-ish? like idk being a boy isn't so bad and it's not like im disgusted with my anatomy per se. like, idk i like my penis and im comfortable with my genitals function/aesthetic/sexual wise but it also feels kinda, sorta weird-ish, to have one but like not in a disgust way? and girls are really pretty and maybe i'd like to look like one but idk i also kind of enjoy being this twinky feminine boyish genderless amoeba thing lol.

my mom is rly accepting and doesn't mind when my girl friends help paint my nails and toes and let me have old clothes they don't want or like so i'm not worried too much about that, but would i still even be a trans girl if i like my penis and would keep it and idk if i start to growing body hair will i feel differently idk it's all just so aaaaaaa ;-; identity is so hard and idk what to think and my body has to grow a lot and everything feels weird and uncertain halp pls none of it makes sense qwq

Re: idk what the heck i am qwq
 

Maybe bi/pan gender?

Bigender - denoting or relating to a person whose gender identity encompasses two genders.

Pangender - denoting or relating to a nonbinary person whose gender identity encompasses multiple genders, which may be experienced simultaneously or in a fluid, fluctuating manner.

Re: idk what the heck i am qwq
 

i didn't consider those, i'm not sure really what to feel. i konw i'm not just a boy and that's all there is to it, but sometimes i do feel rly boyish but also being a girl feels like it could be rly nice and i like being fem a lot too. idk if i'm just trans mtf and in denial or if i rly am just some genderless creature thing lmao. i also kinda would feel guilty, in a way? if i came out as trans, bc idk if what i feel is genuine dysphoria or not idk it's all so blegh ;-;

Re: idk what the heck i am qwq
 

you don't have to have dysphoria to be trans either! You can try using she/her if you want too, because denial is a big part of discovering yourself!

Re: idk what the heck i am qwq
 

i might try asking my friends to use only she/her pronouns for a bit to see how i like it, but yea it's just kind of confusing yk bc i'm relatively comfortable with my anatomy asides from wanting boobs lol, i guess i just kinda have to get used to the fact that im not gonna be all that comfortable with my identity for a while and i'm not gonna know what i want for a while either until i try different things out and get out of my comfort zone ;-;

Re: idk what the heck i am qwq
 

And that's okay. most trans people are uncomfortable with being trans at first, but then they realize "wait this is truly who I am" so maybe that's how you'll be!