TeenHelp - gender + sexuality confusion

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gender + sexuality confusion

[SIZE="a"]I've been questioning my gender for a year and a half now. I used to think I was a transmasc guy, but now I'm kind of confused. I want to be with a woman as a woman, I don't even LIKE my boyfriend, I can't picture myself long-term with a guy. Am I a cis lesbian? Or am I bisexual? That's the thing with sexuality, too. I've been questioning it for even longer than my gender, probably like three years now, and yet I can't find something I identify with. I like women, I know that. I don't know what romantic attraction to men feels like, I've never experienced it, but I feel bad if I break up with my boyfriend because I've gotten him through hell and back. And then my gender, I see myself long term as a woman I guess, so does that make me cis? Whenever I see a pretty woman I'm like ooo I wanna be her! but then I hate my breasts and my curves and everything that makes my body even somewhat feminine. I NEED HELP:([/size]

Re: gender + sexuality confusion

Hey,

I definitely understand how hard it is to question your sexuality and gender identity. I've definitely been there and know it's a long process.

Unfortunately it's not up to me to decide what your sexuality and gender identity are since it's individual to the person. Don't feel as if you have to define your identity right away. You don't even have to label it at all! I didn't label my sexuality for a few years until I discovered the right label for me when I got to college. There's no rush, and there's no right or wrong answer because sexuality is fluid and the label may change as you discover more about yourself.

It's okay to experiment with things like different labels and pronouns until you discover what's right for you. For example, if you have close friends you can start using different things around them because they should be supportive.

I'd question your relationship with your boyfriend though because he may feel strung along if you continue the relationship when you don't even like him. The truth will come out eventually and it will hurt him more if he finds out like that than if you just break things off now so he can find someone who does share the same feelings.

I hope this helps!

Take care,
Dez

Re: gender + sexuality confusion

[SIZE="a"]I ended up breaking up with him. I didn't feel things were working too well. He thought I was bullshitting him but I explained and he's still not exactly understanding it, but it makes me feel lighter overall.[/size]

Re: gender + sexuality confusion

Hello, when you are dating someone or you are friends with them and if it is feeling weird you don't have to date them or be friends with them. Also, you don't have to pick right away what you feel you are, whatever you like and how you are dressing, just go with that feeling and see what happens. Best of luck.