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-   -   Friend Doesn't Like My Dating Habits??? (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f9-relationships-dating/t107407-friend-doesnt-like-my-dating-habits/)

Algernon August 4th 2012 07:49 AM

Friend Doesn't Like My Dating Habits???
 
[FONT="Arial Narrow"]I'm dating a guy I really like and on the second date, I kissed him. Not a big deal at all. But I have a friend, whom I dated for a minute, that told me I fucked it up by kissing him blah blah blah. He's literally getting upset telling me, "I bet you can't go 3 weeks with no physical contact. It's sad you have to have physical contact to go anywhere with anyone, It's fake and not real if there is contact." It really irritated me because he brought it up around 4 of my friends, and my sister, joined in the interrogation.

There is so much chemistry between this guy, Jesse, and I. I've always dated way older guys 10-15 years older. And my mom and sister have always wanted me to date a Christian. So what do you know, he's 23 and the leader of Worship at his church. We both know that we are going to end up together but are waiting on the relationship and sex...

I know we aren't going to wait more than a month but I'm afraid if I get into a relationship with him my friend is going to not be friends with me anymore/look down on me... He's a good friend and I'm not sure if It's big brother syndrome, he's slightly jealous, or he really feels that I'm making mistakes....

What should I be doing?[/font]

Acheron August 4th 2012 01:42 PM

Re: Friend Doesn't Like My Dating Habits???
 
Kissing on the second date is, if anything, on the late side. Your friend is jealous and, while I think he realises that he can't have you himself, he hates the idea of you being with anyone else, hence the freaking out over you kissing another guy. Because seriously, that kind of reaction isn't normal. Anyway, my advice to you is to remain friends with your friend, but to ignore any dating advice he ever gives you because it's inherently compromised.

Always * August 4th 2012 05:30 PM

Re: Friend Doesn't Like My Dating Habits???
 
I think Archeron hit the nail on pretty much everything I wanted to say. My only contradiction is that I don't think a kiss on the 2nd date is at all delayed, I think it is probably average, I don't think it's bad, I just don't think everyone starts macking on each other during the first date, I'd say the 2nd to 3rd date is usually a good place for a first kiss IF there is a connection.
I had a friend who did similar stuff and seriously affected my relationship with a guy cause he liked me. Instead of accepting that I obviously didn't want to be with him (evidenced in the fact that I was seeing someone else) he made it his business to interfere with the claim that he was doing it for my own good. I don't deny that the structure of my relationship with the guy wasn't ideal, but it wasn't my friends place to make a worse mess out of it. So I know how you feel. And on top of what Archeron is saying, I think you need to make it abundantly clear that your friend has no right to butt in on your relationship the way that he is. You need to tell him that by being like he is he's only damaging your relationship with him and not the guy you are dating.


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