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-   -   Making my relationship with my girlfriend more healthy. (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f9-relationships-dating/t114583-making-my-relationship-my-girlfriend-more-healthy/)

Lumberjack January 5th 2013 08:30 AM

Making my relationship with my girlfriend more healthy.
 
I've been with my girlfriend for a year and just about 5 months and it's been amazing but things are becoming stale. I still love her and she loves me but we're both 19 and things are slowly getting more stale.

We both live at my parents' house to be able to save for after we get out of college and we are with each other so often that we seem to always be stuck in a routine. We also get frustrated and even mad at each other because we definitely need our own space sometimes but that space doesn't come easily.

After being at my parents' house for months it's been slowly becoming more stale because we can't just decide to go out shopping once a week anymore...our "special" days to BREAK the routine are now PART of it!

I always used to come up with good ideas to help our relationship flow but it feels like we've done everything there is to do with each other. Lately our big spice of life has been to find new TV shows and watch them together...it's sad really.

The big positive spin on this though is that whenever she goes home to visit her mom, we get along perfectly. There's no fighting, no routine, we both get some time to be alone, we txt each other what we're up to now and then and we both really miss each other and just want to be together again. It's not like we could just be friends and then hang out now and again. We are together too much but then as soon as we get a few days of a break from each other...it starts getting really apparent how much we love having each other in our lives and then she comes back to my house and it's perfect for a week or two again. That right there shows me that we do love each other.

I'm basically just asking for some suggestions on how to revive my relationship with my girlfriend because I feel like there has to be something i'm missing! lol.

Thanks in advance :)

Brandon January 7th 2013 04:56 PM

Re: Making my relationship with my girlfriend more healthy.
 
My girlfriend and I have been together for almost two years, and I can relate. When you have a limited amount of income, you have a limited amount of things that you can do. After a year, which is a long time for a relationship, you've probably done a lot of things: go to movies, go to arcade places, have picnics, etc, and eventually you start doing things in repetition. We're young, and therefore our available time is limited. This isn't a problem in relationships...it's inevitable. At some point, things aren't so new anymore. There's gonna be times where you'll wanna go out and do stuff, and other times you'll want to sit inside. For the most part, you may feel like your relationship isn't getting anywhere because you aren't doing anything -- that's not merely the case. My girlfriend puts it very simple...it doesn't matter what we do, as long as we're together. It took me a while to accept the fact that doing nothing all day with her is still doing something for the relationship. Of course, she's not always going to want to stay inside and watch tv, which you should keep open communication. If she really wants to do something or go somewhere, she'll tell you. You can still have fun inside. Take baths together, play old school Nintendo, play board games, etc etc. Over time, you'll know what your girlfriend enjoys doing, and you can branch off of that. I know that my girlfriend loves video games, so I'm fortunate enough to have gaming consoles that I can bring over and we can play together. Don't feel like you need to be an adventurer, to always have a plan, because there's not always a plan going into something. That's the beauty of being spontaneous. If you already thought of doing something before you actually do something, it's not spontaneous anymore.


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