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Beautiful Lie November 3rd 2014 11:42 PM

Tension with the boyfriend
 
Well the past few weeks me and the boyfriend have babe constantly butting heads or not talking at all and I don't know what is going on but I feel like it is braking our relationship up. I can understand things are stressful they are for ma aswell but what can I do

Eternal November 3rd 2014 11:59 PM

Re: Tension with the boyfriend
 
Communicate. That's the only way you two can solve this problem. What have you two been arguing about? Is it random things or are they following a pattern?
When you're stressed it can be difficult not to lash out at loved ones, but remember you are both there to support each other. If you feel yourself getting angry, remove yourself from the situation and leave the room so you both can cool off. Once you've calmed down, whatever you were fighting about won't matter anymore, no matter how important it may have seemed at the time.
Fighting is also a normal part of a relationship, but it definitely isn't healthy if it's constant. Perhaps you two could try spending less time together until your stress levels are lower? Another option is to find a way to reduce the stress. Take a hot bath in the evening, drink lots of tea, and read a book. When you're less stressed your relationship will improve.
I definitely think you need to talk to him about this though and let him know your concerns. Remind him that even if you two aren't getting along, you still love him. In order for a relationship to work out you typically want at least 5 positive interactions for every negative one. This means you need to make sure to also say kind things to your boyfriend since you two are fighting so much. It may also help reduce how much you fight if you two keep reminding each other of how much you love each other.

BreathingIn November 7th 2014 11:02 PM

Re: Tension with the boyfriend
 
I agree with everything Pug Princess said.

You have to communicate. It is crucial during these times of fighting. You have to calmly talk about what's going on. If it's a healthy relationship, then both of you will be able to openly express your feelings to one another.

Fights are normal. If they become a pattern, then you should evaluate the situation deeper, but always ALWAYS communicate. Never assume things and stay quiet. The mind can wander into crazy places, so don't sit back and let that happen.

It's totally okay to get angry and annoyed with each other, and when that happens you have to make a choice. Is this a person you want to ride out the storm with? Or do you know that it will not work?

Hope this helps, best wishes!

TheGuyinCanada November 8th 2014 12:30 AM

Re: Tension with the boyfriend
 
Try to talk to him more or break up.

BeautifulDisaster95 November 8th 2014 04:30 AM

Re: Tension with the boyfriend
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Beautiful Lie (Post 1146354)
Well the past few weeks me and the boyfriend have babe constantly butting heads or not talking at all and I don't know what is going on but I feel like it is braking our relationship up. I can understand things are stressful they are for ma aswell but what can I do

Well if you can't talk it out and it isn't improving it just might not work out. What you can do is put your foot down and start asking the serious questions because if you don't it will just keep escalating. The best is to communicate what you feel and don't hold back, speak your mind and then listen to what he has to say and go on from there.

Hoped I helped some!

Beautiful Lie November 9th 2014 09:55 PM

Re: Tension with the boyfriend
 
Thank you for everything that you have all said I have discovered what it is that has been the problem its actually been my mental health turns out I was having a mental breakdown.
Thank you to everyone anyway :-)

Eternal November 10th 2014 02:29 AM

Re: Tension with the boyfriend
 
I don't think you should put the blame all on yourself. Were you the only one initiating the fights? Even if you were, he must have retaliated. Even if you were having a hard time with your mental health, he didn't help much if he contributed to the fights. I really want to encourage you to talk to him about it still instead of taking the blame on yourself.


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