TeenHelp - Best Friend or Boyfriend

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Best Friend or Boyfriend

Hi!
So I've been with my boyfriend for a year now and I love him very much but I also have a best friend who I think I'm falling for and he's dating my old best friend! I talk to him long after I tell my boyfriend I'm going to bed and when I do go to bed, I have dreams about him. Maybe I'm over thinking this whole thing but we always tell each other we love each other and his girlfriend isn't happy with our friendship but we both decided that the people we date aren't going to ruin our friendship.

But the real thing is, should I keep this feelings secret and hope they go away or say something and potentially ruin my friendship and relationship?

Thanks!

Re: Best Friend or Boyfriend

Hey there,

I personally think that telling someone you have feelings for someone else while you and the other person are in a relationship at the same time is risky and can potentially ruin both your friendship with the guy and your relationship with your boyfriend. The best thing I'd say to do is to take some time and think about it. Who do you really have feelings for- your boyfriend or your guy best friend?

Over time, analyze your feelings towards both of them. If you start to see that you have more feelings for your guy best friend, then you should break up with your boyfriend since it won't be the right thing to continue to date him when you are pursuing interest in another guy.

Another thing that could be is that these feelings could just come and go. You could just keep him as a friend but if that's causing problems in the relationship, then it would be best not to continue the friendship.

Its ultimately your choice of what you want to do. Think about your feelings and since you know your relationship the best, you'll know what to do. :)

Hope this helps and wish you all the very best!

Re: Best Friend or Boyfriend

I think these situations are always more complicated than they appear. I've overanalyzed feelings towards many guys i've become close to, and often, it comes down to me being in love with the idea of them. Your situation seems similar to mine. Often, my boyfriend can't always meet my needs for attention or for my mental illnesses, and so other friends make up the difference. If they're men, I then believe I'm developing feelings towards them. In reality, it's what they're providing me. Even if it's not mental illness, but it's simply his time or the conversation you both are having, it could be that you enjoy that specific thing he offers you. However, if you love your boyfriend and don't want to break up with him, that's telling. I think you really need to look at the two relationships you have and decide if the feelings you have are really "love" or "love spending time with." If you love the other guy, it's unfair to be stringing your boyfriend along when you love somebody else. Even if you and the other guy can't be together, I don't think you should stay with your boyfriend out of being unable to be with the other guy, you know? I think that if your boyfriend can't provide what you need, you need to reconsider that relationship.

Re: Best Friend or Boyfriend

You should say to your boyfriend what you really feel for him to fair enough