TeenHelp - mixed feelings :<

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yungstunna

January 29th 2022 05:36 PM

mixed feelings :<

i've been dating my boyfriend for almost a month now. i've had feelings for him for over a year now, and he used to like me as well - but every time i would try to take things a step further, he would kinda shut things down between us??

we had a sexual relationship before we started dating, and it eventually led to him asking me out (i obviously said yes jdfisbf). it's getting very confusing, though. every time i'm around him, i'm super happy, and i feel like things are going great. but whenever i'm not around him, i guess i just kinda feel like "eh, whatever" about him.

i'm not sure why i feel like this :< i've had a really strong attachment to him for a very long time now, and i don't wanna ruin things just because my mind is giving me mixed signals.

Ennui.

January 29th 2022 11:56 PM

Re: mixed feelings :<

Has anything changed in your relationship to give you that "eh" type feeling? For example, has anything different/new been happening with you two lately?

Maybe you can explore more about what you're feeling and thinking when you feel "eh." For example, you said it's when you're not with him but are there any certain times you think about that more, or is it any time you're away from him?

Do you think that you need to find a "spark" again and try something new with him, such as going to a new place on a date or doing a new activity/game/hobby/etc with him? Maybe you need something different to rekindle some of those feelings and make it exciting to see him again.

Rivière

January 30th 2022 11:57 PM

Re: mixed feelings :<

Have you spoken to him about this? If not, it may be a good idea to. This way he may open up to you about the mixed signals he's giving. For all you know, he's got some personal things going on in his life and everything else has unintentionally taken a back seat.

DeletedAccount71

January 31st 2022 10:00 AM

Re: mixed feelings :<

The above posters have given some excellent suggestions. I second them, and would like to add that the cornerstone of all healthy relationships is communication. If your boyfriend doesn't know you feel like something is making you feel uncertain, or even unhappy about the relationship, you're not going to be able to work on it between you. Likewise, that goes for your boyfriend, too.

Talking about feelings can be scary sometimes, but when we value people as much as you seem to value your boyfriend and this relationship, it's important to bring stuff like this up. If you aren't sure what you want to say, you might possibly consider writing it out beforehand to practice what you would like to say, or talking it over with a close friend or supportive person, who might help you gather your thoughts better.

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