TeenHelp - Parents say that the girl im dating cant be my friend and my girlfriend?

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Parents say that the girl im dating cant be my friend and my girlfriend?

[FONT=""][COLOR=""][SIZE=""][FONT=""][COLOR=""][SIZE=""]I told my parents that I was dating a girl and they said because we are dating I have to inform them whenever im hanging out with her, and whenever I do hang out with her they will consider it a date because we are dating and the line of friend and gf cant cross. I don'yt know what to do I feel like their rules are too strict. She's one year younger than me but weve been friends for over half a year and the only difference between when we were friends and now is that we kiss and cuddle sometimes like??? i dont understand where my parents are coming from with this? Im 16, almost 17 and shes 15 almost 16.[/size][/color][/font][/size][/color][/font]

Re: Parents say that the girl im dating cant be my friend and my girlfriend?

My parents wouldn’t let me hang around with males at all which is funny to me since I’m not straight haha.

I think parents are worried about things getting sexual or “inappropriate” when someone is in a relationship.

Have you considered talking to them calmly and asking them to clarify some of the rules? You can say you understand they’re looking out for your safety and your girlfriend’s safety but that you’re confused about some of the rules. Let them know you’re confused on why things have to be super different just because you’re in a relationship. Explain what you’re confused with and why, without accusing them of anything. Making accusations can cause them to become defensive and want to listen to your side less. You can also suggest some compromises. For example maybe you can ask if you can hang out together with your bedroom door open so they can check in every now and then but you still get some privacy?

Re: Parents say that the girl im dating cant be my friend and my girlfriend?

Hello there,

Thank you for reaching out. I can understand where your parents are coming from because you and your girlfriend are pretty young. In fact, you're both minors. It's natural that they have a sense of protection towards you.

I can also understand that you would feel like you want your space to be respected and not have them be too involved in your relationship. Hence, I advise that you try to understand where they're coming from first, then see if you can find a middle ground. Then I suggest having an open conversation with them about this, and as Wheek said, try to keep the conversation calm.

A solution that comes to mind is that you and your girlfriend only meet in public places when it is daytime or early evening. That way, your parents might not be too worried for your safety. And this might give you and your girlfriend some privacy as well.

This is just one suggestion, but I hope it gives you a gist of what I'm trying to say. When there are conflicting opinions, it pays to see where the other person is coming from and trying to find middle ground.

Best wishes! :hug: