TeenHelp - Secret Relationship...Help-

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Secret Relationship...Help-

Okay, so I wanted advice. I'm in a relationship with a girl my parents had made me break up with. The break-up was never official, and we just assumed it was over as not only were we going to be going to different schools, but my mom had messaged her in a way that leaves it up for interpretation (But still implying we were breaking up.) She basically told her about my mental illness and that I wasn't in the right shape to be dating. Which, I understand but I don't think my mom realizes how much my gf has saved me/kept me safe and happy.

We've been back together *in person* since August, but my parents have no idea. They aren't homophobic, but they make jokes sometimes. What I'm worried about is that they'll take away all my stuff and make me break up with her if I tell them. The problem with that is I don't know if I'm mentally stable enough to withstand a breakup, ESPECIALLY if it's out of both of our control. Her mom already knows, and was hesitant at first but she seems to like me.

I do want them to know so I can... I dunno, take her on dates and stuff. I feel like I'm not a very good partner because I'm not really able to do much for her. Like, for example- on homecoming, my parents saw me with a flower (that I was going to give to her) and got really suspicious. I don't WANT to have to hide my girlfriend from my parents, because she is just such a wonderful person. She literally deserves the world, and that's something I'm unable to give her right now.

Any advice is appreciated! But please don't just say "tell them" because, I mean- like I said, I don't even want to risk the chance of having to leave her. Aaah.

Re: Secret Relationship...Help-

Hey!

I know you said not to just say “tell them,” but remember secrets are hard to keep. I’m not saying to tell them right away or anything like that, but do know that it may be worse in the long run if they discover your secret instead of you telling them yourself.
But besides that, I think that if you’re not going to tell them you need to set boundaries with your partner for things that you and her can and can’t do when there’s the possibility of your parents finding out. For example if you’re on the phone with your girlfriend around your parents make sure she doesn’t speak as loud or doesn’t mention romantic things.
I’d also talk to your girlfriend to make sure she understands why you can’t do certain things like give her flowers more often or always have her around the house. Explain how you may feel about keeping the relationship a secret and what some of your worries are. At least then both of you are on the same page and have a mutual understanding.