[mindflower]

Oh gosh, my first experience went something like this. October 2011, I didn't make Opus Honor Choir, something that had been the WORLD to me for the last three years. I was rejected, and it hurt so much. I cried and cried and cried and that was the spark of some god-awful feelings towards myself. I felt like an absolute failure.
To top that off, same October, the guy that I had liked for probably about two years told me to my face and to my friends that he didn't and wouldn't ever like me, he doesn't barely like me as a friend, let alone anything else. And LORD that hurt.
But that's not all folks. During Halloween time, a bunch of my friends were going as Cats from Cats the Musical (I was Jemima if you're familiar with it), and a guy I wasn't HUGE friends with, Matthew, and I got closer during this time. The night of the parade, we both were basically giving little hints to one another and to other people that we liked eachother. And then, days and weeks after that.... nothing. And so. November 9th... I believe the 9th, that is when I first tried to cut myself.
I remember going to youth group that night, for the first time, and a female there pulled me aside and apparently she noticed the cut right away. I hadn't broken skin, not until the following day.... ugh.
So that's my experience.