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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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What caused you to have your first self harm episode? - June 20th 2013, 06:34 AM

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For me?

It was depression,the constant bullying,stress,& school.



Last edited by Riddikulus; June 20th 2013 at 10:27 AM.
   
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Re: What caused you to have your first self harm episode? - June 20th 2013, 06:53 AM

I had been self-injuring with bruising and interference with wound healing as a kid. My first cuts were made when I was ten. I can remember bottling so much inside; my wrist actually turned pink and got warm, so I did it. It was the stress of having too much on my shoulders. It was like from every little situation that had gone wrong in my life that I let build up, and then I exploded.


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Re: What caused you to have your first self harm episode? - June 20th 2013, 07:58 AM

I was being emotionally abused by my dad and the guy that I was dating at the time. After a while, I was so frustrated and full of self-loathing that I decided to take it out on myself.


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Re: What caused you to have your first self harm episode? - June 20th 2013, 09:15 AM

I got bullied constantly back in school, and then through college because I was different. In the end I took everything out on myself.
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Re: What caused you to have your first self harm episode? - June 20th 2013, 10:26 AM

Just everything building up and getting on top of me, I had an awful relationship with my parents, my friends weren't really there for me and I just couldn't cope with feeling so empty


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Re: What caused you to have your first self harm episode? - June 20th 2013, 11:29 AM

I put a lot of stress on myself all the time to succeed and if I don't get certain grades I get really upset. So when I got to the 8th grade and had a bad teacher who made me feel like hell all the time, I was in tears half the time and resorted to self harm.


   
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Re: What caused you to have your first self harm episode? - June 20th 2013, 11:43 AM

For me it was a combination of childhood sexual abuse, being a young carer for my younger brother, having no emotional support from anyone and feeling invisible and hopeless. At the time I felt like I existed only to fill the needs of other people. I had no soul, no personality. I was alive simply for others to take what they wanted. I was a hollow shell and nobody noticed, or if they did, they didn't care.
   
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Re: What caused you to have your first self harm episode? - June 20th 2013, 05:03 PM

Think it was just a combo of stress to do better in school, be more social with family and the stupid arguments with my parents. Had a blowout with my mom which in the end was the tipping point of it all.
   
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Re: What caused you to have your first self harm episode? - June 20th 2013, 05:44 PM

My first self-harm episode occurred after a tough day of bullying at school, followed by a heated argument with my parents. I had been feeling depressed and anxious for a while, and the bullying and issues at home were also going on, so it all built up to that fateful day.
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Re: What caused you to have your first self harm episode? - June 20th 2013, 06:24 PM

Oh gosh, my first experience went something like this. October 2011, I didn't make Opus Honor Choir, something that had been the WORLD to me for the last three years. I was rejected, and it hurt so much. I cried and cried and cried and that was the spark of some god-awful feelings towards myself. I felt like an absolute failure.
To top that off, same October, the guy that I had liked for probably about two years told me to my face and to my friends that he didn't and wouldn't ever like me, he doesn't barely like me as a friend, let alone anything else. And LORD that hurt.
But that's not all folks. During Halloween time, a bunch of my friends were going as Cats from Cats the Musical (I was Jemima if you're familiar with it), and a guy I wasn't HUGE friends with, Matthew, and I got closer during this time. The night of the parade, we both were basically giving little hints to one another and to other people that we liked eachother. And then, days and weeks after that.... nothing. And so. November 9th... I believe the 9th, that is when I first tried to cut myself.
I remember going to youth group that night, for the first time, and a female there pulled me aside and apparently she noticed the cut right away. I hadn't broken skin, not until the following day.... ugh.
So that's my experience.
   
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Re: What caused you to have your first self harm episode? - June 20th 2013, 06:35 PM

I Can't remember what made me actually do it the first time. I guess a school career of bullying and being called fat and being made fun of probably had a lot to do with it though.



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Re: What caused you to have your first self harm episode? - June 20th 2013, 07:10 PM

I'm not really sure what caused me to cut for the first time. Maybe it was a combination of hating myself, not being treated well by everyone around me and hating the day to day unchanging dull routine of my life plus the never-ending memories and reminders that certain things bring because they link me to the abuse I experienced as a child.
I've done other self harm for a really long time though (I cannot even remember when I started some things), like picking scabs and other things.


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Re: What caused you to have your first self harm episode? - June 20th 2013, 07:46 PM

I was really stressed out and depressed and my mom was yelling at and blaming me for everything. Having been abused in the past, I was used to hating myself and being blamed, and I thought I should be punished.


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Re: What caused you to have your first self harm episode? - June 20th 2013, 10:59 PM

My depression was developing and getting worse. I had thought about cutting, but hadn't yet. Then, I guess I had a particularly shitty day and I decided, "I'm going to do this." I freaked out and tore apart my room looking for something sharp.
   
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Re: What caused you to have your first self harm episode? - June 21st 2013, 03:44 AM

Another question for you guys

How did your parents react when they found you self harmed? What did they do?

They thought I was overreacting,didn't do much.


   
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Re: What caused you to have your first self harm episode? - June 21st 2013, 04:03 AM

I was depressed and felt like no one cared about me and sad about this guy and something else going on so I decided to hurt myself..
My Mom just found out. She tried to talk to me about it and I kinda just put her off.


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Re: What caused you to have your first self harm episode? - June 21st 2013, 03:57 PM

I remember the first time I ever self harmed, the tool I used but I cannot remember the specific reason I decided to make the choice. I think a lot of it probably had to do with the stress that I was putting on myself as well as the stress that was being put on my by my parents arguing and then of course there was the fact that I was dealing with a very deep depression.

It is weird how some of the scars I can remember the events/feelings that led up to it and other times I cannot but I am sure that is normal.


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Re: What caused you to have your first self harm episode? - June 22nd 2013, 12:59 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Puppy-Sized Elephant View Post
My depression was developing and getting worse. I had thought about cutting, but hadn't yet. Then, I guess I had a particularly shitty day and I decided, "I'm going to do this." I freaked out and tore apart my room looking for something sharp.
This was pretty much me. I had been fighting back tears, quicky ran into the shower and fell apart.
   
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Re: What caused you to have your first self harm episode? - June 22nd 2013, 05:54 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by YoungK9 View Post
How did your parents react when they found you self harmed? What did they do?
My dad was really chill about it. He didn't try to force me to stop or take away my tools or anything. He tried (and continues to try) to understand it and be open to me talking about it. My mom found out through my psychiatrist, and she never brought up the subject with me. I've been really lucky.
   
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Re: What caused you to have your first self harm episode? - June 22nd 2013, 04:31 PM

I don't think I remember the actual time I first self harmed. I was about 11/12. A lot was going. Stress of school, having such low confidence and I was pretty distraught about my mum being ill and everything got on top of me and I guess I turned to self harm as a release of of that.


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Re: What caused you to have your first self harm episode? - June 23rd 2013, 03:47 AM

For me:
From when i was little i would punch myself whenever i was having a hard time, or when i was really little i'd hit myself when things didn't go my way, and that made me feel better. Then i don't know when it started but i started feeling not myself and just weird, which i later figured out was when i got depression. Then things just built up, the bullying, stress on having straight A's from m dad, and then what made me cut for the first time was my father breaking up with his long time girlfriend (who was also like a best friend to me). Just everything all added up, was just too much. So i cut. The first time of course i though 'i'll only do it once' oh how i was wrong.





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Re: What caused you to have your first self harm episode? - June 23rd 2013, 06:21 AM

My ex-boyfriend got a new girlfriend and I was feeling so ugly and worthless I didn't know how to deal with it and ended up cutting myself.


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Re: What caused you to have your first self harm episode? - June 23rd 2013, 10:40 PM

Sheer disgust for my stomach made me claw at it



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Re: What caused you to have your first self harm episode? - June 23rd 2013, 10:59 PM

I was mad and decided to do it. I found a glass bear, smashed it an used that. My parents don't know. but when I was young I would beat myself and claw at myself
   
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Re: What caused you to have your first self harm episode? - June 23rd 2013, 11:08 PM

I've been self harming for as long as I can remember (due to stress, abuse, or just an uncontrollable need), but I first cut myself because I was suicidal. I had mono at the time, nobody was home, and I was going to end it. I probably would have if it wasn't for the cutting.

I told my mom about the cutting and pulling because I had to. I wanted/want to swim competitively again, and there was no way she wouldn't have noticed the scars/missing hair. She cried. Freaked out. I'm not being forced into counseling or anything, but she's doing research on it. The next time she asks, I'm just going to tell her that I've stopped. It's so awkward and uncomfortable with her anymore, and I want her to stop worrying so much.
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Re: What caused you to have your first self harm episode? - June 24th 2013, 06:53 AM

It was when my very first boyfriend dumped me. He kept telling me about how upset he was about it, but when I tried to get comfort from him, he told me to just "get over it." Seemed pretty unfair, and if the breakup wasn't enough that whole drama lasted for months afterwards and was hard to handle.


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Re: What caused you to have your first self harm episode? - June 24th 2013, 11:51 PM

What caused it was stupid CYFS thinking they knew what was best for my family. Hello, foster care. This time it was permanent though. Different parts of the country, not just different suburbs of the same city. Idiots.

That happened when I was 12. But I'd been interfering with wounds healing for as long as I remember, but I didn't really view that as self harm when I was 7 or whatever
   
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Re: What caused you to have your first self harm episode? - June 25th 2013, 09:03 AM

Family problems and I fell out with my best friend.


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