Hey all. This is technically about trans relationships and sexuality, but I feel it has more to do with the trans issues than sex itself, so I decided to post it here. Feel free to move it if necessary.

I am a bisexual, cis-female who until recently has only ever dated cis-men and cis-women. However, a couple of months ago I started dating a transwoman. Because I have never dated anyone outside of the binary gender spectrum before I was a bit concerned about how things would go at first, but we really hit it off. She's a wonderful woman and I really like her.

In the last few weeks we have begun to take our relationship to the next level, physically speaking. I am wildly attracted to her and she is wildly attracted to me. She's definitely fun to be with. However, she is pre-op, and we have found that despite our attraction to one another she has a lot of trouble staying hard. We haven't been able to very successfully have sex yet. I do not take her trouble with arousal personally, but when I asked her what was going on she said she was dealing with a lot of insecurities.

The situation got more awkward for me when she asked me on the spot if I would still be interested in her if we never have sex. I felt very uncomfortable. The simple answer is yes, I still like her and would still want to date her, but I honestly don't know how I feel about it. Sex is a really important part of committed relationships and connection to me, and I'd have to do some serious readjusting if I were to commit to someone I knew I would never have sex with.

I like her, and I want us to be able to be intimate together, because that would be really awesome. What insecurities do transwomen generally have, especially regarding body image and sex? What can I do to help her with her insecurities? I know I can't fix them, but I would like to make it easier for her. All suggestions are appreciated.