Hi there. I'm sorry that things kind of suck for you at the moment. I self harm too, so maybe I'll be able to give you some helpful advice.
First of all, you said that people hate you. I know from my own experiences, and my general knowledge on self harm, that self harmers generally have a very low self esteem. Why else would they take their pain out on their own body? And when you have a low self esteem, you tend to feel like a waste of space, like everyone around you hates you and that you're a burden for simply existing. I know, because this is exactly how I feel, I cant help it. I know its a bit hypocritical of me to tell you not to feel this way, but I'm going to anyway. I can guarantee you that people around you care, your family and friends love you, and if they had any idea what was happening to you, they would be able to show you how much they care.
When I opened up about self harming, everyone around me has been supportive. Yes, there is a part of me that thinks they're just putting it on and that they don't actually care.. But deep down I know this isn't true. I know that the way I feel about myself, has altered my perception of how other people see me. After all, if I don't love myself, that means nobody else does either right? But its not right, and although this is hard for me, and you, and any other self harmer to get their head around, we just have to accept it. Otherwise, we'll never be able to recover.
I know how hard it can be to tell someone, I really really really do. But you have to. Try and imagine yourself in a years time. First imagine that you never told anyone, that the self harming got worse and worse, you're covered in scars, you shut yourself out from the rest of the world, you pushed people away when they tried to help, and because you never talked to them, they gave up on you. Your friends have all left you, and your family don't even recognise you anymore. And all of this, you're enduring BY YOURSELF, completely alone and isolated... How can you tell anyone now?
Now imagine if you did tell someone. You could be sitting their in a years time, looking back at the darkness and pain you had to go through. But you told someone, they supported you, you got help, and you stopped. It took a while, it didn't happen overnight, but you did stop. You look at your scars, and that's all they are, just scars. They're no longer fresh cuts, no longer pain and loneliness cut into your skin.
Who do you want to be in a years time? Because you, and only you can make that decision. I cant force you to tell anyone, nobody can, but you have to force yourself. Find someone, anyone you trust, and tell them. 'I self harm' Three simple words, that's all it takes to start the path to recovery. You can do it, I know you can, you know you can, you just have to be brave.
I really hope you tell someone, and soon before it gets worse. Feel free to message me if you need any more advice
xxx