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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
sancy Offline
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Unhappy cutting - January 30th 2015, 02:23 AM

Hey everybody
I cut myself everyday because im sad and people hate me,my best friend left me because she found new friends.
And tomorrow its my prom and im not going and im so sad right now,but that was my decision.right now i just want to cut my skin but i want to stop
   
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Re: cutting - January 30th 2015, 02:54 AM

Hey there!

I've moved this to Self Harm because that is the better fitting category.

Why do you think that people hate you? I am so sorry to hear that your best friend left. Maybe she wasn't as true a friend as you thought to begin with if she just up and left you like that. But that doesn't mean that everyone will hate you! Maybe you can join clubs, social groups, and sports teams in school or around town to meet new people who have a common interest with you and who may treat you better.

I am also sorry about your prom! I think that maybe you should find some ways to treat yourself really nice tomorrow. Maybe you can take a warm bath or shower then curl up with a good book or movie, paint your nails, or eat your favorite goodies. Maybe you can get dressed up and go out to one of your favorite places. It may be nice! These are also all ways to take care of yourself in general.

It may also be useful for you to express your emotions through writing, art, music, or even exercise. That way what you are feeling isn't all built up.

But you don't deserve to go through this alone either. There are people out there that care about you so much and want to see you happy, but you have to let them in. This is a link to a list of people who can help. They can give you new ways to cope and solve your problems, and sometimes it can just be nice to have someone to get everything out to without being judged.

You have said something really great here: You want to stop. I think the first step towards recovery is admitting that there is a problem and realizing you want to stop. So, you should be proud of yourself for reaching that step!

This is a link to a list of alternatives to self harm. They are healthier and safer ways to cope with everything that is going on. There are tons there, so try a few until you find some that fit!

You are a really wonderful person, never forget that. You can do this!

-Dez


   
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Re: cutting - January 31st 2015, 08:29 PM

Hi there. I'm sorry that things kind of suck for you at the moment. I self harm too, so maybe I'll be able to give you some helpful advice.

First of all, you said that people hate you. I know from my own experiences, and my general knowledge on self harm, that self harmers generally have a very low self esteem. Why else would they take their pain out on their own body? And when you have a low self esteem, you tend to feel like a waste of space, like everyone around you hates you and that you're a burden for simply existing. I know, because this is exactly how I feel, I cant help it. I know its a bit hypocritical of me to tell you not to feel this way, but I'm going to anyway. I can guarantee you that people around you care, your family and friends love you, and if they had any idea what was happening to you, they would be able to show you how much they care.

When I opened up about self harming, everyone around me has been supportive. Yes, there is a part of me that thinks they're just putting it on and that they don't actually care.. But deep down I know this isn't true. I know that the way I feel about myself, has altered my perception of how other people see me. After all, if I don't love myself, that means nobody else does either right? But its not right, and although this is hard for me, and you, and any other self harmer to get their head around, we just have to accept it. Otherwise, we'll never be able to recover.

I know how hard it can be to tell someone, I really really really do. But you have to. Try and imagine yourself in a years time. First imagine that you never told anyone, that the self harming got worse and worse, you're covered in scars, you shut yourself out from the rest of the world, you pushed people away when they tried to help, and because you never talked to them, they gave up on you. Your friends have all left you, and your family don't even recognise you anymore. And all of this, you're enduring BY YOURSELF, completely alone and isolated... How can you tell anyone now?

Now imagine if you did tell someone. You could be sitting their in a years time, looking back at the darkness and pain you had to go through. But you told someone, they supported you, you got help, and you stopped. It took a while, it didn't happen overnight, but you did stop. You look at your scars, and that's all they are, just scars. They're no longer fresh cuts, no longer pain and loneliness cut into your skin.

Who do you want to be in a years time? Because you, and only you can make that decision. I cant force you to tell anyone, nobody can, but you have to force yourself. Find someone, anyone you trust, and tell them. 'I self harm' Three simple words, that's all it takes to start the path to recovery. You can do it, I know you can, you know you can, you just have to be brave.

I really hope you tell someone, and soon before it gets worse. Feel free to message me if you need any more advice xxx
   
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Re: cutting - January 31st 2015, 09:44 PM

Hello dear. I'm sorry you are going through such a hard time. Maybe you could try other alternatives rather than cutting. I know things like this are hard, but I'm sure you'll be able to make it though it. If you ever need anyone to talk to. Feel free to PM me anytime. c: I hope things get better for you dear.


"One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful." ~Sigmund Freud

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