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Manjima Offline
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Name: Manjima / Mon
Age: 25
Gender: xx chromosome :p
Location: in a much better place than i was before :)

Posts: 37
Points: 5,874, Level: 11
Points: 5,874, Level: 11 Points: 5,874, Level: 11 Points: 5,874, Level: 11
Join Date: January 12th 2015

Angry difference in outlook and perspective ..resulting in conflict with my parents!! help please!!! - September 5th 2015, 10:00 AM

THIS IS GOING TO BE VERY LONG BUT PLEASE READ THE WHOLE THING AND HELP PLEASE!!



i live in india..so you know where my parents are coming from BEING BROUGHT UP IN A CONSERVATIVE SOCIETY..my father is really educated but works a mediocre job by choice. he has no ambition in life whatsoever..i mean its not about the money but he has no urge to improve himself..he used to play really good guitar and he is so good in english but he never reads a good book nor has touched his guitar for 40 years.he wanted to be a writer but works as a government employee.he has never tried for a promotion although we all know how much capable and talented he is at his job and he really deserves a promotion...i have told him so many times to do what he enjoys...to live life actively but he is just so lifeless...no passion ..no love ...according to my parents my goals are their dreams if i accomplish my dreams they will have their dreams fulfilled but thats not how it works!! you cant be so invested on your child you have to have your own life and your own dreams..whenever i ask him to teach me something that he is clearly good at...he will refuse citing the excuse that its been so long that he had not done it...he is not good at it etc..He is so book smart and is always abreast of political and sports news and stuff but sometimes he asks literally the most stupid questions ever!! sometimes i think He PURPOSELY acts stupid around me!! For example..I was at the doctors and the doctor asked me why i do not go out?/ i said i didnt have any friends..the doctor said that means you are always on facebook...and my dad instantly comments she is always on facebook ..always on the computer..i mean what the fuck?? i dont even have an account..i left facebook two years ago or any social media for that matter..and most of the time im on the internet ..im either searching for good medical schools and residencies (i want to be a doctor) or looking for new music, books, harry styles, travel blogs or watching documentaries on suicide/murder etc...i mean what do you expect ...i dont ask for your money to go out with friends..so how am i supposed to feel happy?? music and harry give me happiness...i dont even ask you for your money for stupid unnecessary things like my former friends do..heck i dont even like spending your hard earned money...
Coming to my mother...she is a housewife..but she will CONSTANTLY WORRY about me...and its annoying as fuck!! I am a very introverted person..i really like to be alone BUT APPARENTLY SHE DOES NOT KNOW HOW TO GIVE ME MY PERSONAL SPACE!!!.for example...i like to close the door and turn off the lights and read an ebook or listen to music...she will always nag me about opening the doors and putting the lights on...i also like to shower after i have my lunch around at 4 or 5 pm...i mean it changes everyday...but she has such a HUGE problem with it!!! the time i shower or have my lunch is subjective...its my choice but no according to her...you have to shower within 1 pm in the afternoon and before you have your lunch because thats what everybody does !!she will always try to shove her god and religion in my throat..i hate religion and god!!...i really like non veg a lot and want to try you know beef and other exotic foods but she wont let me.. even when i grow up because of her stupid religion...what i eat is my choice!!! She can b really ignorant sometimes...for example the other day i was watching a video of a nude photoshoot but all of her parts were covered with her hands and legs..( i am very open with my parents considering sexuality and other stuff) and she was like why are you watching these dirty things?? i mean seriously ??? there is nothing sexual in this video its just a nude model posing and the model was not being suggestive at all..she was just acting natural...we have talked about masturbation too and she thinks it causes ovarian cancer!! and it will reduce my drive when i get married!! what the fuck!! i have explained to her that masturbating is actually healthy but she wont have it!!...i know how she was brought up ...so i always try to make her knowledgable about feminism , homosexuality, gender fluidity...but she never really quite understands...My idol is Harry Styles because not only is he a very good singer but he has a heart of gold..he is the most polite and kind person i know but as many of you may know he sometimes acts quite feminine and im assuming he might be bisexual/gay...and i love the fact about him that he is not afraid to be himself..not afraid to be weird eccentric and oh so flamboyant...but my mom will always call Harry a girl just because he acts feminine...i mean NO just NO you cant call him a girl unless he himself identifies as genderfluid...you need to respect that person's choices.. she says that she does not like men who act feminine...i get so annoyed..

i am not really close with my dad.when i was kid...he was a severe drug addict..he used to come home almost passed out and fight with my mom when he was sober although he never really hurt my mom physically...many years later he cheated on my mom with a prostitute..(he confessed later ) cuz their sex life is non existent ( as i told earlier mum and i are very open)they are only together because of me..he wont even give me a hug because he thinks that i am a grown up teenager now and perhaps he is afraid that my lady parts will touch his chest when hugging( seriously??/!!)...i forgave him for everything but he has lost my respect...he has given me a lot of emotional baggage...dont get me wrong here..i love my parents very much and im very grateful to them for giving clothes food shelter and and an education and i know i will take care of them till they die.i respect my mother and im really grateful for all that she has done for me but she can be really ignorant sometimes..and i hate it....and i know that they love me very much too but i just cant get along with them because of our outlooks on life...i am a very open minded person and they are just not used to it...because of this we always fight on small things and im tired of it!! i have talked to them calmly about this several times...but they refuse to give me my personal space and liberty.(ALSO I DO VERY WELL AT SCHOOL ACADEMICALLY AND THEY HAVE NOTHING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT..IM VERY SERIOUS ABOUT MY STUDIES AND CAREER)....this was very long ..thanks for listening to my rant...How do i help this situation...im tired of these arguments at home...any help would be appreciated thanks

Last edited by Manjima; September 5th 2015 at 10:32 AM.