[Celyn]

Hey there,

The term 'shyness' is often overused. Being shy is common in young children, though they often grow out of it. When being 'shy' interferes with your life, such as not wanting to socialise because you feel others judge you, and going to great lengths to try to avoid things, it's likely that it's related to anxiety issues, such as social anxiety. This is also more likely if you have low self-esteem.

We can't diagnose you though, as we aren't professionals. But whatever you are going through, you can be assured that with the right help and support, you'll get through it. It seems like you have a good relationship with your family....how would you feel letting your parents know about what you are going through and how you are feeling? I'm sure they would like to help, and perhaps you can then go to the doctors or talk to a school counsellor, who will be able to help build up your confidence and find strategies to help you feel less anxious.

I'm really sorry to hear that you feel embarrassed when talking to others and feel like they will judge and criticise you. It's a horrible feeling, I know. The reality is though we aren't mind readers. We don't know what others think of us, and there's a good chance that they aren't really judging us, but are more likely to be thinking about things concerning them. While it's good to try to stop thinking negative things, rather than trying to stop the thoughts, perhaps you can challenge them instead? Whenever a negative thought comes to mind, try to challenge it, so that it becomes less negative. It sounds like you are trying really hard, but please don't beat yourself up over it! It's not your fault, and what you are dealing with, is actually quite common, and it doesn't reflect on you as a person.