Hi There,
I understand where you're coming from. It took me literally nine counselors until I finally found the right one. It's hard, some of them just don't match your personality or can't meet your needs. I would suggest to keep searching. I'm not sure where you're from but you can typically google for private counselors in your area and a list should pop up. Read up about them, and try to find on the best fits your personality.
I'm glad that you don't think you want to act on your thoughts, though I know it's scary that you feel these at all. I feel the same way sometimes. I think these are all good things to be able to bring up with a counselor. Counselors also typically can fit you in a lot faster than psychiatrist and psychologist, at least where I'm from.
I'm sorry you're also dealing with anxiety. I have really bad anxiety and I know how awful it is, including the physical symptoms. I would suggest try to use some breathing techniques and grounding exercises. Do them when you don't have anxiety as well, as a preventative for when you do.
You can get through this. One step at a time and if you just need or want to chat with someone please free to
PM me. <3