[Celyn]

Sorry to hear how much pain you are in. Depression and anxiety can be difficult to deal with, and it's understandable that you may feel overwhelmed and exhausted at times.

I know that you hurt yourself in your mind, but do you physically hurt yourself too? It's okay to have difficult thoughts as they are just thoughts, but it's not good to act on them. At the same time, you have no reason to think about hurting yourself- you don't need to punish yourself at all.

Since you have anxiety, it could be that being in an event with people that you have to see can be draining on you. If you feel depressed you may feel like you don't have enough energy in general. I'm wondering if there was something in your mind that perhaps triggered you to feel sad? You may feel that you aren't good enough or annoyed that you got exhausted quickly but you it doesn't mean that you aren't good enough at all.

Is there something in particular about school that bothers you, or is that you feel more anxious and depressed in school in general? It sounds like you are struggling and I'm sorry that your previous therapy hasn't helped much. Perhaps you can open up to your parents, teachers, friends or other counsellors about how you are feeling? We aren't professionals so we can't diagnose you, but if you want to have a diagnose, it's best that you talk to someone who can. Anxiety can affect us in many ways so even though you can make eye contact, and talk to others when they start talking to you, it can still mean that you find it difficult starting the conversation off yourself.

I'm sorry to hear that your therapist doesn't take your binge eating behaviour seriously. Perhaps you can keep talking to your therapist about it and see if he/she starts taking it more seriously? If not, perhaps you can get another therapist, one who understands eating disorders.

God does not hate you. Sometimes life can be painful and can involve suffering, but you don't have to suffer in silence either.