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Name: Skye
Age: 24
Gender: Female
Location: France

Posts: 478
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Join Date: August 24th 2014

Question another case of overthinking minor details... (defining our relationship? how to act in school?) - February 12th 2017, 03:41 PM

So last week I told my crush that I like him, and after going on a sort of date (it was literally just hangin out, walkin around town together. super chill) he said that he likes me too. Since then we've been on a couple more "dates" (Hanging out at his grandma's, going to a tea shop, etc) and they went really, really well.
I'm just nervous for school to start again, because all this happened during the holidays so no one other than our close friends knows that we have a *thing* going. I guess I just want to ask him how serious this *thing* of ours is to him and how he would define it... like, are we boyfriend-girlfriend or are we still at that stage where we're getting to know each other and we go on dates but we're not together. I want to know what he'd be comfortable with at school, if he'd be okay displaying affection etc. or if he doesn't feel like we're at that stage (or if he's not the kind of person who displays affection anyways). As in, should we kiss hello?? Is holding hands okay?? The thing is, when it's just the two of us it's totally fine because I just go with what feels right. But when i'm in a social situation it's just diferent somehow, I don't quite know how to explain it. I know it's dumb and childish to worry about details like that, but I'm a pretty insecure person when I'm around big crowds and anything I might usually worry about gets multiplied by ten. Also in my last relationship we didn't talk about what the other was comfortable with when in social situations, and I found out at the end of our relationship that he had purposefully been avoiding any kind of contact in school, but he never told me about this so I always assumed that he was just a bit awkward and I would have really liked to be able to act "together" with him around others; so yeah that was really hurtful and I don't want it to happen again, which is why i'm thinking so much about it now.
Right now we've awkwardly kissed goodbye a few times and at the end of dates we'll hold hands, so to me that already suggests that we're "together" in some way, but I feel like I should talk to him about it just so things are 100% clear and I'm not sure how to approach the subject with him. As for the whole what-should-we-act-like-at-school situation I really don't know how to talk about it casually, without sounding like a maniac who worries over every single detail.

Anyway yeah it's a minor glitch but it's a glitch nevertheless, so if anyone has any suggestions or advice it would be much appreciated

((also sidenote: it's been such a long time since I've been on this website!! but I really hope to become part of the community again!!))


"You shall love your crooked neighbour / with your crooked heart."