|
Guest
Edit avatar
|
Re: harm to myself -
February 16th 2017, 05:41 AM
Hi there!
I'm sorry you are going through all of this, but I'm glad you reached out here because you deserve support and a place to talk about your feelings.
When you are feeling depressed, it can be appealing to sit in the dark; comforting almost, and therefore it is confusing when people tell you not to. The reason is that while it may seemingly be comforting, it isn't healthy because it allows your feelings to bring you down as there's no light or positive reminders to lift your spirits. However, everyone is different. If sitting in the dark truly helps you feel more positive, then continue doing so but if it pulls you down more, I'd encourage you to refrain from sitting in the dark. If you'd like, you can put soft lights in your room such as stringed soft lights, a lamp with soft lighting or a nightlight.
Is it okay if I ask why you ran away from home? I'm wondering if people in your life have mistreated you, causing you to feel the need to run away. People may touch/hug you making attempts to comfort you when you're feeling low, but if it makes you uncomfortable then it's okay to politely mention what they are doing makes you uncomfortable, and let them know what would help you. They may not know that what they're doing is upsetting you and it's important you let them know so that you don't have to feel upset/uncomfortable.
Self-harm may feel like the only outlet that helps when you feel like there is nothing else to turn to, but in the end it doesn't help and only brings you down. The fact that you self-harm shows you are looking for coping mechanisms which is healthy, but self-harm isn't a healthy coping mechanism and while it understandably may be difficult, I encourage you to try other ways of expressing yourself and trying to tackle one urge at a time. You may find this list of self-harm alternatives helpful: click here.
Going out into the sun for a 15-30 minute walk each day or having your window curtains pulled away so sunlight can fill your house can help a lot. Sunlight can affect chemicals in your body that helps lift your mood. Exercise releases endorphins which is what self-harm releases. Therefore, a small amount of light exercise in the sunlight each day may help you both feel better and hopefully reduce your self-harm urges.
Drawing your emotions and ripping the paper up sounds like it could be a healthy outlet, but it may be best not to if it makes you feel worse. Would it help to write what you are feeling and thinking in a journal? Or writing poems, songs or short stories? Having a creative emotional outlet is important as it's a healthier way to express yourself.
Your family must care a lot about you to make efforts to help you. It can be difficult when the people around you do not understand though. Is it possible to talk to them more in-depth about your struggles, and help them understand better? Explaining everything better may help them understand more clearly and figure out how to help you more effectively. I understand it may be difficult to put it all in words, especially when you are feeling quite low. Would you be able to write down what you'd like to explain in a note first, to explain it as clearly as you can before approaching them?
As for your friends, I understand the urge to push them away when you are struggling. It can feel like the right thing to do, and feel easier but it is important you have support. I know it may be hard, but how about considering the idea of opening up to a trusted friend? Think about it, write a note you'd like to give them explaining how you are feeling, and visualize yourself giving it to them. You can ease into the idea at your own pace. I just hope you do let them in because you seem to be struggling a lot and you deserve support from friends.
Aside from family and friends, are there any other trusted adults you can turn to? This can be a family member, close family friend, trusted adult, teacher, pastor, school counselor etc. I was wondering if you've ever considered/spoken to a therapist? Therapy may be very beneficial for you.
You are dealing with a lot it seems, and I understand you are battling suicidal thoughts. I just want to remind you that you're stronger than you know. When you are feeling so low, it's okay to not be okay, but always remember that you will be okay again. There'll always be better days ahead of all the difficult ones and you deserve to live to see the good days and live the wonderful experiences. The tough days and bad experiences are only a part of life, and you shouldn't miss the good parts because you deserve to live through the happier parts of life and see what it has to offer. Life can be really hard, but it can be really beautiful too and the beautiful parts are worth it.
Just be sure you know you aren't alone through the tough times, okay? You've got support here now. Take care and stay safe.
|
|
|
|