[msfsteven]

Hello. I haven't self harmed but I definitely know what depression is like. And I still get depressed, especially when things aren't going well. I feel like I've come pretty far, but learning how to be happy is a process. Forget paying for apps, they'll just take your money. I say, if you feel depressed, then you're depressed.

Here's a few suggestions... figure out why you're depressed and identify triggers. It's helpful to keep a journal, because you get to write out all your thoughts and feelings. It's very therapeutic, it can help clear your mind and it allows you to articulate your thoughts more clearly instead of just letting them race (if it helps, think of it as a place where you can leave the negativity behind). A neat trick is to categorize the feelings you have. Is it circumstantial (how life is going for you, things happening to or around you, not enough fun/rewarding things going on), is it environmental (your household, a small town, are you inside all day, or the people around you, like mean or negative people) or is it internal (are you upset with yourself, low self-esteem/confidence, moody or other emotions). Categorizing them helps you better analyze your feelings so that you can begin the healing process by addressing them and looking for solutions.

I'm not sure how to explain this part, but try to step outside of yourself. Close your eyes. Pretend you're looking above the world or an imaginary place, just observing. There's no negativity, no problems, there's not tomorrow or yesterday, there's just landscapes, cities, beautiful sights. If thoughts arise, let them finish and allow them to float away. Don't try to block depression. Just let everything flow, take deep breaths. You can open your eyes after this. Now, think of everything you do have to be grateful for, think of all the positive memories, visualize more positive memories and think of the people you have to be grateful for. Writing them down will help. Try this super simple exercise and see if it helps. It can take just a few minutes (set a timer for 2 or more mins). It helps you step outside yourself more often.

I hope you don't mind a few questions. What grade are you in? You said people will follow you and ask you why you're going to the counselor. Well, even if they are aware you're going to the counselor, will it really affect you for them to know? Do you think they'd judge you for it? I couldn't tell from your post whether you really asked your parents or whether people really followed you, sorry for not getting that part. And also, what do you think is making you depressed?

I would suggest seeking a psychologist before going to a psychiatrist so you don't go straight to medication. Here are a few tips, which might seem hard to do or not even worth it, but they've helped me a lot so I'll share them. Exercise. Even if it's for 5 minutes. Even if you aren't going all out or not doing it with 100% integrity, as long as you get your blood flowing and release endorphins (there are so many amazing videos on youtube, even for beginners! pm me if you want me to send links) Meditate -- find a calming video on youtube, like delta waves or 528 solfeggio frequencies and even subliminal (you might not believe me but subliminals have helped me the most out of anything.) Drink water! You've probably read this online but personally, drinking water primarily has really boosted my energy. Breathing exercises! Again, youtube.

Even though I have suicidal thoughts, I have learned that there is always something we can do to improve to feel better, to get closer to a solution, and we will find the solution. Let me share a bit about the past two years for me. It's been hard, I've had to deal with leaving college (where i made friends and a great job experience) because I didn't want to take up loans, not having enough hours to work/being poor, a breakup, my gma being diagnosed with cancer, bed bugs for months, being upset about my job the whole time, getting hit by my ex and the worst, getting scabies (where i felt trapped for months, scary mites, stay away). After this stuff happened, I learned that there is always a way to get past this! The traumatic pain will heal, you will get stronger, smarter, better. Scabies seems like an incurable thing when you have it and it won't go away. But guess what, I found a way. I'm telling this because I know you and others with this problem can find a way!

Welp, this is what comes to mind for now. I hope I was helpful. Feel free to message me if you want to rant, and if there's anything you can elaborate on (on this thread) I'll respond to them when I get on. Please update us, we care!