[Jess~]

Not even three weeks into our relationship was when this first became a concern. He asked if I would be okay with a threesome and I said I'd be open to the idea. I genuinely meant it, but I thought that he meant further down the line, when we had grown closer as a couple. Not three weeks into what started off as an amazing relationship.

One day he randomly texted me telling me that he invited this girl to go out with us on our weekly date the next weekend. I was dumbfounded as to why he thought this was okay, a good idea, and why he did it without even asking me if it was okay. I threw a fit, told him I didn't care if he saw her but if she came along I wasn't going. He got super angry that I "suddenly changed my mind" about a threesome, but ultimately ended up deleting her number and telling me that he didn't want her if it meant he was going to lose me.

That has been a sore subject ever since, and his behavior then really turned me off to even the idea of a threesome. It was just concerning how badly he wanted it, that he was willing to rush it like that without even asking me.
Also, I always thought of threesomes as purely for sex. The idea of taking her out on our date as well seemed more like a polyamorous relationship. I asked him if he wanted an open relationship and he said he just wanted to be able to have sex with other girls but still date me. I was so done with him at that point that I was willing to try that, just so I could rule it out as something that would never work for me and move on to a better boyfriend. So I told him I would be okay with that, as long as I could sleep with other people too. He said yes, of course I could sleep with other people!.... they just had to be other girls. You know, the gender I am definitely not attracted to whatsoever?
I told him that was unfair, and it led to yet another fight over the subject.

It has been several months since then and we haven't talked about it in depth ever since. He swears that he has never cheated on me, even when we were on "breaks" or when we had a fight and broke up. He's not exactly the type of guy who girls are dying to sleep with.. even I'm not deathly attracted to him. So I do believe him when he says that.

That being said, this subject has started to come up again, and much more often. The last time we were broken up, I was hanging out with my girl friend at McDonald's and lo and behold, my ex/boyfriend came walking in and we made direct eye contact. He saw my friend, and he was still there when we left the place so he saw her body.
We got back together since that happened, but he's been talking non-stop about my friend's ass. Sometimes when he's cuddling with me he will say my friend's name, just to piss me off. My friend is bisexual, but mostly likes girls, so he thinks that means it's a perfect situation to have a threesome.

I literally grew up with this friend. I met her in my first week of high school and we've gotten so close. To me, it would be beyond weird and uncomfortable to ruin a friendship like that with sex. I know that for me and my friend, if we were to do something like that, we might try to make a friendship work afterwards but we're both way too awkward to make things normal again after that. Plus, I'm not attracted to her at all.
Not to mention that it would absolutely break my heart to see my boyfriend touching someone else.

I'm not afraid to admit, I am far too jealous to have a threesome or an open relationship at this point. There is no way I would be able to handle that. Plus, I already fear that I'm not good enough for my boyfriend. I constantly wonder if I'm not attractive enough for him or if he's just not happy with me anymore. And don't give me that "humans are naturally not monogamous" bullshit because that shit is disgusting. Obviously if we were animals our sole purpose would be to blindly mate and reproduce but we're not goddamn animals are we? We have feelings and hearts and can make connections and I don't think it's too much to ask for someone to just love you and not need to stick his dick in anyone else. Is it?

He says that I'm fat sometimes and is always telling me I should go workout. I started working out a lot more and he seems happier with me, but now he's trying to get a threesome with me and my friend and it really hurts. I can't help but feel like that means I'm not giving him something he needs.
I keep telling him that my friend already hates him because I tell her about all of our fights and how insane he is. I also half thought/hoped he was kidding around about this threesome shit, but it turns out that he's very serious. He got pretty mad on the phone last night as we were talking about it. I told him something extremely serious and he just said, "Oh that sucks." and then went on to talk about how he wants to fuck my friend.
That pissed me off already, but it made me more mad and concerned the more he talked about how he could get her to sleep with him.
The other day I told him that maybe we could all hang out at the mall one day, but I seriously just wanted to hang out with one of my good friends and my boyfriend at the same time. He thought I meant that could be an opportunity for him to get to know her and ultimately get in her pants.

I tried Googling about it and for some reason most people are hopping on that ludicrous "cHeAtiNg iSn'T WrOng" bandwagon. I read an article about why cheating should be okay because men naturally want to fuck everyone. So just screw what I want, right? Because I want someone who is okay with just me and who will finally treat me like I'm enough for him to be happy. Is that such a terrible thing to want? All these people are out here demonizing monogamy because "statistics show people cheat a lot, so it must be okay!"

I just strongly believe that if you actually love someone and want to be with them, you won't feel the need to have sex with other people. I don't care if it's purely for sex and nothing more. (And no, I don't think it's "cheating" for him to check out other girls or anything. I do that with other guys, of course. But after they walk by, I don't feel the need to run after them and fuck them, because I know I have my own guy. It's not that hard to not cheat.)

So who's in the wrong here, because obviously one of us is doing something wrong.