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Brandon Offline
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Name: Brandon
Age: 32
Gender: Male

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Re: How to find a boyfriend and what is considered healthy? - March 16th 2018, 05:34 AM

All right. Well, first off...you're 17 years old. When I was 17, about 11 years ago, I thought I knew all kinds of shit because I was about to graduate high school and get into college. I thought...what could be so different? Well, as it turns out...a lot. You've got a lot of growing up to do.

You've never dated anyone, which is great because you're gonna face a lot of new experiences which can be very exciting. Unfortunately, a lot of what you learn about love, about being a healthy partner, is about learning through your own experiences. Initially, you have all of these conceptions on what it means to be a girlfriend, what it means to satisfy your partner, etc etc. As you get older, those things may change, and that's okay.

The important thing to note here is that...your story is your story. It's unique, and it's the only story that matters. Social media is out there, and it's very difficult to live your life the best way you can because everyone lives differently, and they also love differently. Don't get sucked into people's lives where you feel like you have to do anything to feel like you're a good partner. In general, you should always strive to be your best self, and to do your best. Aside from that, your best is all you can do, and if someone believes that your best isn't good enough for them, that's okay.

You might get lucky and have 1 partner your entire life, that's okay. You might have 15 partners throughout your life, and that's okay, too.

Your first relationship, your boyfriend might break up with you because you're too clingy. That's okay. Why? Because that breakup teaches you to not be clingy next time. It teaches you how to be your best self, and that's something school can't teach you. As you get older, you experience more. Sometimes those experiences are bad, and that's okay. Bad experiences are sometimes beyond your control, and the only thing you can do is learn from them. Learning from your experiences makes you a better person, and you'll appreciate those experiences when you get much older.

Don't be afraid to be selfish. Being selfish limits your potential opportunity out there, but that's exactly what should happen. It's not about the quantity of your relationships, it's about the quality. It's far better to be with a person for 3 years, than it is to be with a person for 3 months. When you're selfish, you look for people who are compatible with you, and that's exactly what you should be doing...because if you plan on spending the rest of your life with someone, they should be all that you require. Otherwise, you'll be settling. Don't settle. You'll avoid a lot of heartache that way. Either way, if you don't, you'll learn. And that's okay, too.

Shyness is something you can change. Usually, it just happens with age. You experience college, you get jobs. It's just something you grow up with, so don't worry about that. Don't be afraid to be shy, either. However, if someone approaches you, don't be afraid to be afraid...if that makes sense. Face your fears, give it a shot, and see where it goes. Don't worry, you'll make plenty of mistakes, as do we all...and that's okay.

School is generally not a good place to find a relationship, but you know what? If it happens, it happens. As long as you feel like they are compatible and worth your time, go for it. Otherwise, no big deal.