[Celyn]

Originally Posted by Rivière

This is just my opinion here, but I wouldn't worry about having sex with either a male or a female until you've worked out some of your issues regarding your rape. Sexual trauma can affect us in many ways, including whom we want to be with.

I second this.

While there is nothing wrong with feeling your sexuality has changed over the years, and there is nothing wrong with identifying as lesbian, it may also be the case that the trauma you experienced from the rape also plays a role in how you feel about being intimate with males.

It seems that you still want to have a sex life (healthy) but that any time you see a penis or think about whether a person has a penis or not, it scares you (unhealthy). Naturally, you might find yourself still wanting intimacy, but wondering whether you now feel closer to girls, and questioning whether this is something you are going through e.g. exploring your sexuality or whether this is more related to the rape, out of fear and avoidance.

There's nothing wrong with exploring your sexuality as it's not always a fixed thing- it can change. That said, if this is more related to the rape, then it may be in your best interests to seek therapeutic support such as counselling. Sex after rape can be difficult, but you deserve to have safe, healthy and intimate relationships and counselling may be able to help you with these things.