[Mallika]

Hey there!

Thanks for sharing your concerns with us! Strict parents are really difficult indeed!

It is common for parents to be strict because they care for you, especially when you are young. I mean, I'm 22 and my parents still don't allow me to date, and I can see why, so parents are probably not likely to fully let us do whatever we wish, and rightfully so, or else we'd all go crazy. But you are certainly old enough to be entitled to the independence people of our age group deserve, such as meeting friends, or stay out later than 5pm, for sure!

As the other users have already commented, I think the best way to go about this is to speak with them. There are some ways you can do it to tip the scales in your favour:

- Talk to them calmly. It is absolutely natural for you to get irritated or lose your temper, but try to hold it in. This is because when the other party (i.e. parents) sees how calm you are being about this, they will be more inclined to hear you out and less inclined to argue back.

- Tell them exactly how you feel. Don't be afraid to tell them that their strictness has influenced your socialising skills. Give specific examples. Mention some of your other friends whose parents are less "controlling", but still enforce a decent amount of strictness on their children. Say all of this in a nice manner so that they won't feel like they're being compared.

- Tell them what you'd like them to change. Now, this is the tricky bit. If you tell them to "not be so controlling and let me be free", they are less likely to oblige. Instead, take baby steps. Tell them to relax things one at a time. For example, you mentioned that they don't allow you to go out in heels or in a dress. Perhaps tell them that you wish to have autonomy in what you wear without jumping into full-on skin show or something.

For example, my mom told me not to date until I graduate from Uni. I'm already three years in, one more year to go, and I've lived up to her word. But recently I hinted that once I graduate, I will be open to dating - provided he's a nice guy that I can introduce to my family. And she's okay with that!

So try to come to a mutual agreement - you might have to do a bit of give-and-take but it might be worth it in the end. Remember, once they allow you to live your own life and see that you are doing just fine, it might be easier to get them to relax other facets of their strictness.

- Assure them and tell them that they can trust you. Assure them that you won't be up to bad habits with your independence but instead be a responsible adult. Tell them that it is important for you to now stand on your own two feet or else it will be difficult to cope later on. Tell them that you won't disappoint them, but rather dovetail the independence they grant you into doing things that will shape you into a socially responsible adult.

Good luck, and let me know if you have any further questions!