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Celyn Offline
~One Skittles Minion~

Jeez, get a life!
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Name: Holly
Gender: Female
Pronouns: She/Her
Location: Wales

Posts: 6,485
Points: 57,622, Level: 34
Points: 57,622, Level: 34 Points: 57,622, Level: 34 Points: 57,622, Level: 34
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Join Date: June 16th 2009

Re: My dad feels like a stranger to me. - October 7th 2020, 08:04 PM

Hey there,

Sorry you haven't received a reply yet but also welcome to TeenHelp!

I don't think you are exaggerating at all!

I'm wondering if there may be reasons why your until recently good relationship with your dad has declined recently. It might be a combination of your asperger's diagnosis and his girlfriend.

You mention that your dad is socially awkward, doesn't ask you about your feelings, ignoring your diagnosis and not helping you. Is it possible that your dad may have (undiagnosed) aspergers? It may be that since you were diagnosed, he may have noticed similar traits in himself, but may not want to acknowledge it, perhaps out of shame or denial or other difficult emotions. This may be be behind him ignoring your Asperger's diagnosis. Acknowledging that you have Asperger's, though in your best interests, means acknowledging that he may have Asperger's as well. Of course, he might not have it, but it's just something to think about. Is there anything in particular you want your dad to do? Maybe you can be direct with him and say that you would like him to ask you how you are feeling? Or maybe you can just tell him how you are feeling and how you would like to be supported?

It sounds like your dad spends a lot of time with his girlfriend and that you are feeling replaced. Even though he may really like spending time with his girlfriend a lot, it does not mean that you are being replaced.

You say that going to his house every other weekend makes you feel depressed and your therapist has suggested perhaps seeing him less. I'm wondering what you want to do? It sounds like you previously had a good relationship with your dad before, is it worth trying to re-establish this? Perhaps you can think of things you used to do together- Are these things you can do again? Or are there similar things you can do? Perhaps something just for you and your dad, rather than with his girlfriend around as well. Alternatively, if you want to see your dad less, then that's entirely your choice and it's okay to see your dad less if it's what you feel is best for you. I'm also wondering why you feel your mom would get mad at you, if you asked to see your dad less? If you do decide to go down this route, you don't have to explain that you don't want to see your dad because of how you feel, if you think this might cause problems.

Hope this helps a bit and feel free to update us


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