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Re: And now we are 4! - February 7th 2021, 03:27 PM

I think it's great that you were able to find a long lost sibling and she was able to bond with your family so quickly! It sounds like she's adjusting very well, and I think a little getaway to help her get acclimated to the new environment is fantastic. I'm wishing you, Julie, and little Tommy all the best.

There is something I do want to give you as a fore warning in case it happens: not everyone wants to be reconnected with a sibling they've never met.

One of my friends found her two siblings through research... and it doesn't seem like their biological mother would ever have been voted for the "#1 Mom of the Year" award. There was some bitter resentment there that must have been refueled when my friend reached out to them.
But they were happy to learn of another sibling and bond with my friend.

The point I am trying to make is be mindful of how these long lost siblings might be feeling. Try to think back on the relationship you had with your parents and apply it to these individuals. Do you think they might have fond memories of their mother or father? Depending on how much older they are, they probably disconnected themselves from those people years ago; they buried it in their past and moved on. They now have families and an established career.

This reminds me of my favorite show, an arc that aired a few years ago. One of the main characters reached out to her mother, inadvertently learning she had younger siblings; but the reunion didn't go well. Not quite the same context; but the point is the woman was reminded of a trauma upon meeting the character when she reached out.

Just some things to consider. I know it's super exciting to be reunited with long lost family and wonder about the lives they've lived; but be mindful not only of how they might feel upon contact... but also of how you will feel if they reject you.