[Mallika]

Hi Sarah,

Thanks so much for reaching out regarding this. Your concern on this matter is very genuine. I happen to be Indian, so I might be able to give you some insights from the cultural point of view.

Firstly, while I am happy for your brother as he seems to have found love, I do agree that their decision to get married is a little too quick. Personally, I'd feel the same way as you if my sibling or close friend decided to get married so quickly after knowing someone. I know many Indian people who have dated for quite a long time (years, even) before getting married. My own parents got to know each other for a year before getting married. So it might be that your brother's girlfriend comes from a traditional family that prefers that they get married rather than date. At this point, I want to mention that getting married soon after meeting someone is not uncommon in Indian culture, and many couples get married in 2-3 months after meeting. You can see a spectrum here. Indian families vary in how traditional they can be - some are more progressive than others. Assuming they are pretty traditional, it's good that her family has agreed to their relationship, because many Indian parents are not in favour of interracial marriages. Another thing I can tell you is that marriages are taken SUPER seriously in Indian culture (and there is a huge taboo around marriages breaking up), so if the girl has agreed to marry your brother, I would assume that she's pretty serious about the relationship.

One thing I would advise, just as the others have said here, is having a chat with your brother about this. That way, you'd be able to openly clarify matters with him.

Regarding your concern on travelling to India, I completely understand from the safety point of view. India is not safe for women at all. The struggles faced by women in India is not too different from other cities where sexual assault against women is prevalent - given the humongous population, the incidence of crime is very high.

That being said, it really depends on where you're visiting. Some cities are safer than others. In India, cities are classified as metropolises, tier-2 cities, tier-3 cities, etc. based on their population size, development, etc. I originally come from Mumbai, which is a lot safer compared to a city like Delhi, for example, though both are large metropolises. Regardless, if you're part of a group of travellers, I wouldn't think you have too much to worry about, so long as you always stay with your friends/family and don't venture out by yourself. The concern is for women travelling by themselves, especially at night in aloof areas. I've travelled quite a bit around India (the central, southern and northern states), and the same rules apply about safety. Every time I visit India, my parents insist me and my sister go out only with company of family (i.e. never by ourselves).

However, most importantly, your comfort level is of utmost importance. If you're not comfortable travelling there, you don't have to feel like you have to There's always Zoom, like others have said, and besides, you can always mention COVID as a concern (which is not going to die down anytime soon anyway). Also, you have your work -I think that's a very genuine reason not to travel.

If you have any questions or would like to chat about anything (especially if it has anything to do with a cultural aspect relating to this), feel free to PM me and I'll be very happy to talk.