[Mallika]

Hello there,

Thank you so much for sharing so openly about this. To be honest, I am quite surprised that your therapist is trying to get you to sympathise with your bullies of the past. It is generally difficult even for a third party to sympathise with bullies, let alone a person who has been bullied. Feeling upset about this matter, and not being able to sympathise with them, are totally understandable. I believe I would feel the same way in your shoes.

Possibly there is some truth to what she is saying (i.e. maybe your bullies in the past came from difficult home environments), but how do we know that for sure? Bullies can come from various walks of life. While we might try to imagine what their upbringing was like, bullying behaviour can never be justified or excused, in my humble opinion. Additionally, there is no way we can tell if they regret what they did, so it is rather strange that your therapist is trying to be so sympathetic towards them.

I'm sorry that this has been really hard for you. Being bullied is one of the most painful things and stays with us for a long time. You are justified to still feel upset and infuriated towards your bullies. Your therapist should ideally focus on supporting you and not manipulate you to think and feel a certain way about them.

Rapport and connection with a therapist are SO important. If you feel that this might not be the right therapist for you, I encourage you to seek other professionals if possible. One option is Better Help, an online professional therapy service: https://www.betterhelp.com

No matter what, you deserve to be supported in the best way possible. I wish you the very best.