[~Misguided Ghosts~]

I definitely can relate to a lot of what you are saying, especially the part about not being able to catch up with other people and where they are.

It's important to remind yourself that everyone develops at their own pace. There are people who go to college for the first time at 30, for example, or people who make career changes in their 40s. There's no timeline for success, and even the small steps count. I know it's super easy to compare yourself to other people, but I bet they have their own struggles that they don't talk about as well. The thing with social media, or even socializing in real life, is that people don't always share the things that they're having a hard time with, so we only see the things they want to show off.

There's a concept called opposite action. It's basically where we do the opposite of what we want to do. For example, if you want to isolate, you do the opposite and be social. If you want to self harm (just as example), you urge surf and ride the wave, but you don't give in. It may help you treat yourself a little better if you do the opposite.

I bet you don't drag people down, even though your brain may think that. People wouldn't stick around if you were dragging them down, and there's always someone in your life who loves you and supports you. As long as it's a two-way street, you should be okay.

Don't negate all of the progress you have made. You thought you were getting better, which means you did make progress! Any step forward counts, even if it doesn't feel like it. Having a slip up doesn't mean all of that progress goes away. It shows that you are capable of making positive changes in your life, and you can come back even stronger next time. You can do this!