[Ennui.]

Hey,

It sounds like your boyfriend is a great guy and I'm glad you have him! I think your friend is being protective of you and does want the best for you, which is great too. It's wonderful that you have both of these caring people in your life. It's good that you said you don't think your friend is meaning to be hostile, because it does sound like he's coming from a place of concern. But you're right that with things like gifts it's the thought and effort that counts, and not the money put into it, and that it's about how your boyfriend treats you overall.

Can you sit down with your friend and have a discussion with him? You can say something along the lines of, "I really appreciate the fact that you care about me and want me to get what I deserve, but I feel upset when you talk negatively about my boyfriend. Is this something we can work on moving forward?" Perhaps you can give him some examples of things that are okay or not okay to talk about. Of course, if any red flags pop up in the relationship (nothing stands out at me from your post), that's something you'd want for him to bring up, but it's understandable you wouldn't want him being negative all the time otherwise.

You're right that it's possible that your friend would like your boyfriend if they met each other. Maybe you can even suggest a way for them to meet each other. I know you said your boyfriend is long distance so maybe you can ask each of them if they would be willing to do a three-way call/video chat, or at least have a group chat with each other where you all can talk and they can get to know each other. It can start out with light conversations or sharing funny photos or videos, and then can evolve to more in-depth conversations. Or, you can even do something like find a movie you can all watch on Netflix and you can all talk about the movie afterwards. Just something to get a conversation started.

I wish you the best of luck!
Dez