[¯|_(ツ)_|¯]

I'm definitely a master at self sabotage too so I get that.

One thing that helps me is opposite action. It's exactly what it sounds like, you do the opposite of what your urge is telling you to do. For example, if your urge is to lash out at a friend, the opposite approach would be to treat them with kindness and understanding. I'm not talking about in situations of conflict, where you should talk calmly to the person and let them know what's going on, but more so if you're taking your anger out on them. That's just one example, but it doesn't just have to do with friends. Another example is that if you have the urge to watch harmful videos, watch a comedy (or something uplifting) instead. It DOES take practice, so I'm not going to say this is a change that will happen overnight.