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Hey,

I’m sorry to hear about what you’re going through.

Do you think you can talk to your friends about how you feel? You can tell them you feel as if you haven’t been cared about after recent events and want discuss ways to improve your relationships with them. If you want you can also try making new friends by doing things like going to the same clubs/social groups, participating in a hobby, or volunteering. It can help you make new friends who have things in common with you.

It’s great that you haven’t self harmed in a week. Maybe you can find things to do to help you with both your urges to self harm and your suicidal ideations. Here is a list of resources you can use as alternatives. There are a ton there, so if one doesn’t work for you know that there are others there that will.

People tend to care more than you think and notice your absence. You make an impact on people’s lives no matter what. They’d notice you’re gone and I bet they would grieve. I’d also talk to your mom about your arguing and see if there is a way you two can think of to discuss any disagreements without yelling or arguing.

I know you had a not great experience with therapy but sometimes it is trial and error to find one that works for you. Once you find one you really connect with it can help a whole lot. It helps to get things off your chest and they can also give you skills and tools to cope better. They can keep a lot confidential from your mom unless they think you’re in danger.

There’s so many reasons to live, even if it’s something small. You can live with the goal of finishing a cool new video game, or even your favorite season coming up.

You can get through this!
Dez